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the blemish
.
I took a blood-red rose
and pressed it
between the pages of my heart
where it dried
paper thin
and brittle
leaving a black bruise
the colour of pain
.
Editing stage:
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Comments
jane210660
Thu, 2016-05-19 10:52
I'm getting boring, because
I'm getting boring, because all I keep saying is 'I like this' or 'I love this'.
So i'll try to say why I like this. To me the imagery is very bold. Also I like the fact it is in four stages, you took a rose, pressed it,it dried and you bruised, it's got a good sequence.
Jx
------------
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judyanne
Thu, 2016-05-19 11:27
lol
Be as boring as you like Jane... so long as you tell me you like my write I'm in seventh heaven
:-)
Thank you
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
brittle light
Thu, 2016-05-19 21:06
memories of pure hope and joy
Memories of pure hope and joy are the hardest to bear; when ultimately knowing of their crushing disappointment.
This piece has, and elicits, such a strong emotional feeling,
It doesn't seem right for me to call it 'clever'...but it is
Al
judyanne
Fri, 2016-05-20 07:41
hi Al
Thanks so very much for the very positive comment.
I'm very glad you felt the emotion -
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Roscoe Lane
Fri, 2016-05-20 00:15
Very,
Very succinct and smart, Love Roscoe...
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
judyanne
Fri, 2016-05-20 07:42
thanks Roscoe
For the visit and very kind comment
so nice to see you
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Keith Logan
Fri, 2016-05-20 03:47
Very much enjoyed
especially the last two lines, which are as close to anything I could ever write in terms of abstract poetry.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines
judyanne
Fri, 2016-05-20 07:44
thanks Keith
for the supportive comment
I'm very glad to hear you enjoyed this
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
lovedly
Fri, 2016-05-20 14:14
you use a sharp knife to slice
at times,
then softly change your stance
and
apply butter with the same knife
a rose you crushed
sad
was it for pleasure
if so I must be mad
not to know how dry roses
in library books leave
black stains
your poetry is beyond
the realms of my minuscule mind
hope some day
I shall
in your mind's form
myself find..
judyanne
Sat, 2016-05-21 02:28
you are too kind loved
Thank you for the words of support
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
lovedly
Thu, 2016-06-09 05:49
I am seemingly applying a coat of butter aussie lady
Judy
so that you may help strike all waffle
out of me
okay for me
scribbler
Fri, 2016-05-20 16:22
Hi MM
Sometimes the best part of a poem is not what is said but what is implied or inferred. Such is the case in good poetry and such is the case in this poem.......stan
judyanne
Sat, 2016-05-21 02:29
hi Stan
Thank you for the very supportive comment
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Esker
Tue, 2016-05-24 13:49
books...scraps....songs....laments...
Great poem!
Loved its imagery!
books....put that puppy in
there and jump on it..
I save everything
and from that
when I least expected
it comes back
Dreams...thoughts..
feelings..flashbacks
emotions....
half the time I forget
I put it all in there
but Im glad I did...
some things are painful
and not discarded but
set aside..pressed and
preserved for the one
day understanding
and re look
re examination
re feel
and suprising how
fresh it all is
but then we are
alive
and unlike the
motionless of the
archive
we bring life to
its meaning
thank U Judyanne!
judyanne
Thu, 2016-06-09 04:33
thanks Steve
I have scaps of scraps stored everywhere lol
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
mand
Wed, 2016-05-25 04:22
Hi Judyanne
The imagery in this is incredibly powerful! A bruised heart would be so very painful. :(
Love to you Judyanne xxx
Mand xxx
judyanne
Thu, 2016-06-09 04:35
hi Mand
Thanks for the read and very kind comment
love right back at you xxx
.
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)