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Astrological Chronology

The Bede wrote a book: astrological


And I can’t figure the distance between

Libra and Aquarius signs 

Maintaining old school soundtrack, pocket

full of rhymes 

Stuck in motion like mimes, Out of the box


sunglasses on a gray world making it grayer

dreams and aspirations but no way there

My heart and soul are clear but can I


To rough and ready hardcore savior faire?

Committed, building my words layer for layer

Compartmentalize the sighs

Whiterto and why’s that comprise

All The many lies and family ties

Is this a new start or a reprise?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Astrological Chronology" presents an interesting exploration of the self, using astrological references and introspective language. The poem could benefit from a clearer thematic focus and more consistent use of imagery.

The poem opens with a reference to the Venerable Bede, a historical figure known for his work in chronology and astronomy. This sets an expectation for the reader that the poem will delve into these themes. However, the subsequent lines do not fully develop this idea, making the connection between the title and the content of the poem unclear. It would be beneficial to further explore the astrological and chronological themes throughout the poem to strengthen the coherence.

The use of imagery in the poem is inconsistent. The line "sunglasses on a gray world making it grayer" is a strong visual that conveys a sense of disillusionment. However, other lines, such as "Stuck in motion like mimes, Out of the box redesigns", are more abstract and difficult to visualize. Striving for a more consistent use of concrete imagery could enhance the reader's engagement and understanding.

The poem's structure and rhythm also seem somewhat disjointed. The poem shifts between shorter and longer lines, and the rhythm is not consistent. This can create a sense of confusion for the reader. Experimenting with a more consistent structure and rhythm could improve the flow of the poem.

Lastly, the poem's exploration of the self is intriguing. The lines "My heart and soul are clear but can I compare / To rough and ready hardcore savoir faire?" suggest a struggle with self-perception and identity. Further development of this theme could deepen the emotional impact of the poem.

In summary, the poem could be strengthened by a clearer thematic focus, more consistent use of imagery, a more consistent structure and rhythm, and further development of the theme of self-exploration.

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