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The Ana (Creation Story) part two

Bedar

Of Nothing now the Light shines thrice,
and Nothing lay in void and cold.
Creation formed of formless ice
in trinity shall chance unfold
and satisfy thru their transcendent toil. 5

Now as Samwiel, Mic~lor was free
and gifted soul as like apart.
Thus as Joss willed, the sundered three,
would seek alone what moved each heart
and make anew or as ‘twill be, despoil. 10

Both of the mind of Joss were made
with facets equal that were grant.
But being first, Samwiel pervade
the wide array of that transplant
by Joss at random as first precedent. 15

When Mic~lak~lor was made He took
a greater care in that select
of Self to thence not overlook
upon meticulous inspect
what may prove soon to be what Joss had meant. 20

For in those tasks that Joss had waged,
He ever sought for Self in all.
‘Tis paradox that He’s not gauged
the only nature not enthrall
with telling referential point of view. 25

Samwiel was not Mic~lor and hence
Mic~lor knew he was not Samwiel.
One sees not in from out one’s fence.
A point of view does self reveal.
Joss yearned, but being All could naught construe. 30

Creation would behold Its make
and in the viewing see the shape
of Self in partial hoping wake
awareness and perhaps undrape
that in Him like to theirs He names their soul. 35

But how might Joss reveal anew
what newly come is new no more?
Which is, He is and thru and thru.
Perspective fresh has gone before
and did not change His view in part or whole. 40

And so the heart of Joss was sad,
but rent if by heartstrings were known
that, as ‘twas willed, The Essence had
no knowledge of how sorrow’s grown
from blend of aspects He and free souls made. 45

But as ‘twill be ‘til Ends Of All,
The Architect will also seek
in Self delusion. Hence, Man’s Fall
is wrought as much by what men eke
from selfishness as holy disarray God laid. 50

It came this time into the heart
Samwiel had felt Joss prized utmost,
ruthe genuine for Him that start
the stirrings first of Angel’s Boast,
and Mic~lak~lor he sought to bring to shame. 55

When Eventide held forth his speech,
of spirit, mind as full in cast
as not Samwiel’s, he Dawn beseech
they be as brothers bounded fast
to Joss and each in spirit, mind and frame. 60

From first they were alike and not.
Effulgent was the Star of Dawn
and nothing more so will be wrought.
His voice sound wondrous song whereon,
his brother Mic~lak~lor was ever coarse. 65

The Star of Twilight subtly shone
with merit held in calm reserve.
But for Samwiel he shall atone
and then to shine with all the verve
that made him equal to Samwiel perforce. 70

For each new attribute so shared
with Mic~lak~lor and with Samwiel,
a quality anew was paired.
As Love before would pairings seal
that formed in Dawn’s vain segregation~ Doom. 75

For Good and Evil are not two
apart, but yet perspectives gleaned.
The details of each factious view
and thence not right or wrong as weened.
It would be envy not the least unjust. 80

Samwiel had held The Maker rapt
with all his making promised come.
No more alone, he did adapt
and kept his hidden passion dumb.
Then suffered at his core a nascent lust. 85

“As brothers then are we Mic~lor
and thus shall be for All and Aye.”
From Dawn had first affection pour
to fill the void and Love was day
that Twilight learned of how the Night might praise. 90

About Samwiel his gloaming shroud
his Love returned when broadened full
beyond that which he was endowed.
Samwiel knew envy’s rape and pull,
for Mic~lak~lor’s new soul was Love ablaze. 95

Hence though ‘twas his (and so he felt),
Love left Samwiel alone with Hate.
With Angels and with Men it’s dwelt
and shared the minutiae and great.
Still, Love is sought by all in all or naught. 100

It must be said that in Samwiel
did true abide a love for Joss.
Concern for Him burned hot with zeal
protective ‘gainst all gain or loss
and drove him try supplant from whence begot. 105

But ere those troubles found resolve,
The Essence called the brothers two.
He had allowed they must evolve
and acquiesced as they withdrew.
He then present to them intentions next. 110

“My mind,” spake Joss, “is multitude.
Distinctive in each element.
In you, my twins, I caused collude
My sundries. They are confluent
in each alone and link to wax complex. 115

But such as you I shall not make
again so myriad of gift.
The infinite I’ll not forsake,
but will them singly be, thence thrift
that separately my visions be fulfilled. 120

And as the words in void were spake,
the mind of Joss was manifest.
The light of Aye, The Light did make,
then interlude ordained of rest
to ponder Heaven’s Angel Host He willed. 125

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
As mentioned, this is the most complicated thing I've written. The over difficult style is quite intentional as it is an attempt to create a feeling of scripture. Something that gives the impression a scholar must be found to explain it all. It only carries for the four parts and then as the story proper begins in "Cold", the language relaxes considerably. Through all I endeavored to assure that were a scholar to investigate, all of it would make sense. More so than most of what I write, each word has been vetted that no inadvertent mistakes in grammar and usage are allowed. If you discover such a thing, please bring my attention to it immediately. I still don't expect a very wide readership here as this is difficult stuff, so if you take the time to dare it... my appreciation. I'm something of a problem child at a poetry website and need to thank everyone who has patience with me. wesley
Editing stage: 

Comments

You fill my heart. Part One is on my page if you have the time and there are two more parts coming if you can stand it.
Thank you for making my day.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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author comment

I agree with Lonnie... very readable! (that's why I'm still here reading, LOL. and looking forward to the rest of the tale.You are an excellent storyteller. I really like these lines:

Creation would behold Its make
and in the viewing see the shape
of Self in partial hoping wake
awareness and perhaps undrape
that in Him like to theirs He names their soul.

I think of good and evil as two sides of the same coin and there are varying degrees or shades of both. I would say that you have accomplished a level of scripture like style. Your language usage is eloquent and quite palatable.

always, Cat (& eddy)

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

You perspective on good/evil is precisely mine. In some societies rape is a bad thing, while in others it is the normal course of things. Good and Evil is determined by where we sit.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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author comment

It has been awhile since you have posted. So I was wondering if you are okay. I hope you are well and just busy and nothing is wrong. Sending you good wishes...

always, Cat (& eddy)

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I am here again

few things:

L35  Their soul OR  their souls?
L53  ruthe      maybe            ruth 
 L 45  ' Aspect s'                  need to remove the space between 'aspect' and the 's'
 

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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I think L35 could be either way. Grammatically, the plural would probably be the better way, but then it wouldn't rhyme and since He is the subject and they (individually) are the objects, I think I can get away with it. Good eye. You really are starting to think like a writer.

L53 either spelling is correct. I like it with the "e" because it looks more archaic. That's all.

L45 I'm on it.
See you in part three unless you have more to say? Could you understand where some of this is going?
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment

Very hard to anticipate where this is going but I think that Samwiel is going to rule-at least for a while.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

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