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All my love
Venezuela's Angel Falls cascade down my face
When I think of you my love
I can only imagine how you must have felt
When your seedlings were uprooted from fertile ground before they could sprout
It must have reaped your womb apart to see them depart
Your memories of them fading with each sunset as you wondered if they've been watered and fed compost
I know this because
When you finally found them you watered them with a bucket full of love and compost big enough to fertalise the whole village
I know your wound is still healing from the grave
My wounds are healing too
And it sounds safe to say
I can feel your love from beneath the ground
The smell of rain is a constant reminder of the love you gave
For all the tears you cried
The sleepless nights, the wondering and shame
You deserve all my love.
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Comments
neopoet
Thu, 2024-04-25 18:00
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "All My Love" presents a vivid narrative that utilizes nature and agricultural metaphors to explore themes of loss, longing, and love. The use of specific geographical references, such as "Venezuela's Angel Falls," adds a sense of place and context to the emotional journey described.
However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of metaphors. For instance, the poem starts with a waterfall metaphor, then shifts to farming metaphors, and ends with a rain metaphor. While these are all related to water and growth, the transitions between them could be smoother to maintain a cohesive thematic thread throughout the poem.
The poem also seems to switch between past and present tense, which can confuse the reader. For example, "When your seedlings were uprooted from fertile ground before they could sprout" is in the past tense, while "My wounds are healing too" is in the present tense. Consistency in tense could help to clarify the timeline and emotional progression of the poem.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from more precise language and imagery. Phrases like "a bucket full of love" and "compost big enough to fertilise the whole village" are somewhat abstract and could be replaced with more concrete, sensory details to evoke stronger emotions in the reader.
Overall, the poem has a strong emotional core and an engaging narrative. With some refinement in the use of metaphors, tense, and language, it could be even more impactful.
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Lavender
Fri, 2024-04-26 17:36
All My Love
Greetings,
I feel a great loss of a strong and unique love in this poem. Beautiful references to the falls and healing rain.
Welcome to Neopoet! I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thank you!
Lavender