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KORRECSHUN

Submitted by Esker on Wed, 2011-08-17 14:43

where the dusk burns like a winter ember
and clouds roll like duststorms
I strove away from you
this livid heart aflame
keeping the passion
enclosed in a fist of ache
but you escaped with a mirthful
sigh and melted the stolid
weight of magic you encase
me in

turn me towards you
let me not bare my back
but look upon the sweet
fair being you tease me
with you tempt me with
you love me with

and I shall give you longing
and passion
let our ghosts be a treasure
to each like heart halves
forged

all the waves shall be
love letters cast from shore
to shore

for I'll forever be yours

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Wed, 2011-08-17 14:45

Esker's picture

guilty for want
for need..

For a Mermaid dear......

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2011-08-17 19:30

Geezer's picture
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Once again, you write like you used to! I read this poem over a few times, just wanting to absorb it, and maybe be able to recite it in time of need. LOL "This livid heart aflame, keeping the passion enclosed in a fist of ache!" What a magnificent line! ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

lou

Thu, 2011-08-18 04:27

lou's picture

I admire your work a great deal, I can not fault this one. My favourite Stanza is the first one.I love the way that you construct your poems.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Esker

Fri, 2011-09-16 00:43

Esker's picture

construct
captive..but to hold beauty and defined object of adoration
like a cage for aviary
or the marble wealth for the spirit of love loss the quest of
immortality of souls expatriated
the careful sceince of balance action and delight
Poetry is a daring and careful object and subject

thank you Lou

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