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vivid..
lean against the warm enamel
water beads
releases
falls
and the fan purrs
luxurious
behind the yellowed
chrome
all lifes illicit
want
encircles
warm
soothing
turning
cold
like the bitter bold
this pain that flows
and behind beautiful
eyes
while outside the
snow gently drifts
another drop
another breath
in the hollow
of the ache
the memory
that serves
to make
Editing stage:
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Comments
Roscoe Lane
Wed, 2011-03-02 11:17
Exquisite,
Exquisite, as usual nothing to crit. Regards Roscoe..
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
Geezer
Wed, 2011-03-02 11:21
Looking closely...
I realise that although there is a subtle difference in your work lately, there is still the sensuality in your poems, that I have come to expect. Your work is almost Japanese in its' composition, in the succinct precision and use of words. I applaud the change, and the challenge is well met. Bravo, my friend! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
loved
Wed, 2011-03-02 12:05
wow so
vivid
loved