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Nature's Crown
Awakened by the rains of spring
The flowers bloom to woo the bees,
The wrens build nests and then they sing.
Awakened by the rains of spring
The daisies braided in a ring,
A child’s bright laugh rides on the breeze.
Awakened by the rains of spring
The flowers bloom to woo the bees.
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I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments
Keith Logan
Sun, 2016-05-15 22:20
Quite liked
This is one of the better efforts in this very tired, restrictive form.
Keith Logan
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Blue_Halcyon
Mon, 2016-05-16 09:34
:-)
Thanks, Keith. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. I'm not much for restricted forms, but I thought I'd give it a go.
It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
judyanne
Sun, 2016-05-15 23:23
nice Blue
Good triolet
is it missing the toy?
I wasn't sure if all three themes had to be included. ...
Good rhythm and rhyme
best of luck in the contest
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Blue_Halcyon
Mon, 2016-05-16 09:17
Daisy Chain?
I thought a daisy chain could be considered a toy - a floral crown used by little princesses everywhere. ;-)
It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
judyanne
Mon, 2016-05-16 10:22
of course
I'm often a bit thick - missed that
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Blue_Halcyon
Mon, 2016-05-16 12:47
Since you first mentioned it
Since you first mentioned it I've been thinking that I may need to reword that line to clarify it a bit.
It is such a secret place, the land of tears. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
jane210660
Mon, 2016-05-16 04:04
I like this, it has a lovely
I like this, it has a lovely sunny feel to it - full of hope and good things to come. Jx
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Rula
Mon, 2016-05-16 10:02
Nice one blue
I think reading anything about Spring lifts the spirits. So I have to say I liked this one.
Thanks for sharing.
PS. I haven't include the three themes in my triolet and no one mentioned anything about it. Maybe no one thought it's a winner anyway lol :)
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judyanne
Mon, 2016-05-16 10:31
sorry Rula
I didn't mention it to you as I wasn't sure really what the rule is - I'm still not sure
I only mentioned it to Blue as I saw she'd used two, and I wondered if I'd missed one - which I had lol
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
Esker
Tue, 2016-05-17 20:14
tulips today..daisies the morrow'
I dont write constructed form
but do have a love of reading it
this is very delightful
and refreshing
thank U!
Sparrow
Wed, 2016-05-18 03:40
Blue
This can only be the Blue of the Bluebell as it heralds the Spring, so does this , lovely write.
Even this old man made daisy chains when a young child, they adorned others as necklaces or as tiaras for princesses a very fresh Spring this is..
Yours as always, Ian..xx
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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti