Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Many,many dawns since...Loved\s good ones missed
It's been years since we met,
at the cross roads of time
when I was in haste to find
a gold mine
as one as I found in you
to make mine
Times rolled by
the dawns added on,
now I have become bald,
you still smile at me,
could I have a young one ever been,
but then we both look in the mirror
who is now handsome
who prettier
then I smile at myself
how could you still hold your breath
hope not alas in vain
my youth has been drowned down in drain
but my loved one only you do remain.
but I wonder why
you haven't sought another replacement,
I thought twas the twilight of mercy
perhaps you would making a plea
see me
so you held on all along
we do after all to each other belong,
come along
dinner is served
will you continue
to butter the toast
as usual my dear
Comments
Ian.T
Sat, 2014-02-01 19:09
Loved
This is the seventh age of Man.
Where sense of humour fails as does everything else.
The body fails the mind, and in doing so tries to destroy everything within reach, or change it into something that means nothing to us at all,
Yours Ian.T :- No longer attending the Ball..
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
loved
Fri, 2014-01-10 21:35
yeah and I am going in the reverse order
as Shakespeare said
sans teeth
sans smile ...etc
I say mini HE,
thanks to dentures
Stents and ECG etc
death will never come to me
unless God agrees to allot
a heavenly bed to me
warm and cozy
as it is too cold out here
Global ?what notwithstanding
over the week end
be Happy
He will have to spare me
see u on Monday ,
do u agree
You will have to pay God's fee
for sparing another
weekend for me
loved
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2014-01-12 00:33
Beautiful as your rose profile
I like your poem. I got a little tongue twisted in a couple of lines. The image still flowed good. The rhythm felt great as I read from beginning to end. I'm feeling better these days therefore, I can understand better the themes. I wasn't around much because I lived in a mental fog for the last few years that made me feel ineffective and inferior to understand poetry.. I'm glad to be back among my poetry family reading and critiquing good poetry again.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
loved
Sun, 2014-01-12 13:25
thank you so very much
have a good day
loved
raj
Sun, 2014-01-12 13:50
Hi Loved
This write is once again a testimony of the metamorphosis of the writer in you, due to your ceaseless efforts at improvisation and taking cues from others on Neopoet and some other poetry sites as I remember you making a passing reference.
This is in a way similar to the one re-posted by Stan ""Ageless Love" though expressed differently in your own words and expressions ...the closing is lovely too because of its life like scenario...it was indeed a pleasure...
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Sun, 2014-01-12 15:06
my pleasure
young one
that you so think so
Inspiration is the spring board of any poetry
I learned it after decades of digging
in the temples
where poetic gods reside
like the ones like you
happy for you
and
of course
my dear I thank you
Stan and I once wrote
about our many dawns
we passed together
in the age -less -ness of time ,
eternity and poetry
My mind now saturates
poetically
loved
scribbler
Mon, 2014-01-13 00:16
Beware
I might steal those last 5 lines one day lol. But seriously they are truly wonderful in displaying the little favors older couple do for one another as well as the enduring love which makes the favors almost automatic...............stan
loved
Mon, 2014-01-13 09:11
ur most welcome to
steal and share
all love is also automatized these days
loved
alidzain
Fri, 2014-01-31 19:29
wonderful
love your poem.
this is about a timeless love.
.it will be a good referrence for me .
thank you
Alid
loved
Sat, 2014-02-01 11:41
wonderful
thank you ever so much
for your timeless love
ali
loved
alidzain
Sat, 2014-02-01 16:10
you're welcome
you're welcome
loved
Sat, 2014-02-01 19:42
thanks shall get back
thanks
loved