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sunmoon
fire an arrow and bring the sun down
that's how I learnt
the Red Indians brought the moon upon earth
and
now it at least shines
for half a month
so why not try it with the sun
half begun
any battle is half won
sun or no sun ,
the sojourn is on
blast it sorry,
it’s started to rain
the sun and moon in their own company, will remain
behind veiled curtains
what a shame
the lightning and thunder
clap in harmony
while you and i dance in our own ceremony
with bags of money..
lets buy the sun
moon will follow..
for free
buy one and take one free
modern business methodology
Hope
Harvard is listening
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Tue, 2012-06-26 10:38
Loved
This would make a North American Indian Myth, now you can't go attacking the sun...
I want to know the relevance of the word you use quite often in your poems sojourn as it puzzles me in its presence?????, Yours Ian.T
Definition of SOJOURN. : a temporary stay (a sojourn in the country)
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
loved
Tue, 2012-06-26 15:13
sojourn==brief travel, a short journey on a train kind
Main Entry:
sojourn [n. soh-jurn; v. soh-jurn, soh-jurn] Show IPA
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: brief travel; visit
Synonyms: layover, residence, rest, stay, stop, stopover, tarriance, vacation
that's how use it
anything wrong ?
Can you suggest a better word please..
thanks.Ian
loved
Ian.T
Tue, 2012-06-26 17:59
Loved
Sojourn is one of those imported words where to replace it would mean more than one word so I will have to bow to that one, this is where our English is not as romantic as the French.
I have scoured all my books and all I can say is STET,
Have a great new day out there, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
loved
Tue, 2012-06-26 22:31
thanks a lot Ian
grateful, status quo
loved
Ian.T
Wed, 2012-06-27 02:33
U2 Loved
Lol Love those Joshua Trees
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..