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we do not write about
we do not write about
what we do not know
the so-called visionaries
in a frantic world
savoring chances taken
mourning lost opportunities
advancing with unmatched passion
a mere reflection of our double-life
we do not write about
what we do not know
but of the esoteric
world inside our heads
of displaced bullets
or the bothersome sometimes
bull-headed black holes in our souls
we do not write about
what we do not know
but of pain and suffering
or pleasure (possibly pure ecstasy)
and sometimes someone listens
to the stirrings of our souls
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Comments
scribbler
Thu, 2011-06-16 21:38
hi
A good look at motivation and inspiration...........stan
faithmairee
Thu, 2011-06-16 22:33
Many Thanks
I appreciate your wonderful remark. Thanks much.
Love,
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
faithmairee
Fri, 2011-06-17 17:45
hi
Disapointed, Kal? Not in the least. I answered an ad in a magazine "for writers who think they can!" They asked for poems about the writing life. I sat down and wrote this poem, then sent it out to them the very next day. The magazine is for teachers. Not only did they publish it but they paid me the highest amount of money they pay for a poem. So, there is no need to be dsappointed in anyone's response here. I was, in fact thrilled that xXena understood my poem from the get go.
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
Pamela A. Lamppa
Fri, 2011-06-17 07:48
There is an excellent message in this prose
There is much to be heard within this bit of prose; things that will stir a poet’s soul. We know what we know, but perhaps our vision differs from others in that we are able to paint images in words.
Personally, I like a more direct approach to verse, i.e.
we write about
what we know
“visionaries”
in a frantic world
savor risk
mourn lost opportunities
advance unmatched
through passion;
a mere reflection
of a double-life
But, these are only my thoughts. I think the title could be a bit stronger and the message a bit more visual for impact. I am not certain the repeated lines are strong enough to carry the verse and would consider revising them.
There is an excellent message in this prose but it needs more fire to really make those last lines hit home.
Thank you for the opportunity to absorb your words. ~Pamela
.. .
~"It's ALL about the Poetry~
Please join us in The Shark Pool
faithmairee
Fri, 2011-06-17 18:19
Hi Pamela
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond to my poem. Apparently, the magazine that published my poem found it presentable as they paid me well for it.
Love,
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
Pamela A. Lamppa
Mon, 2011-06-20 20:35
Congratulations
I would love to see it. What publication and when?
.. .
~"It's ALL about the Poetry~
Please join us in The Shark Pool
faithmairee
Mon, 2011-06-20 20:53
Thank You So Much
The magazine is called ByLine and they published my poem 16 years ago and paid me the highest amount they pay for a poem. Unfortunately, the magazine is not available on the newstand. You can find them on-line though.
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
Pamela A. Lamppa
Mon, 2011-06-20 21:49
Oh I will look then. Thank
Oh I will look then. Thank you and congratulations again.
It is always such a wonderful thing when a publication picks up a piece.
Happy Writing.
~Pamela
.. .
~"It's ALL about the Poetry~
Please join us in The Shark Pool
Kailashana2
Fri, 2011-06-17 08:04
Interesting commentary
Interesting commentary inspired by your prose, Faithmariee, it's a good thing when a poem accomplishes that.
"A poet's work . . . to name the unnamable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world and stop it from going to sleep." ~ Salman Rushdie
~A
faithmairee
Fri, 2011-06-17 17:46
Thanks Much
Hey, there-Thanks so much for the lovely response. I appreciate it.
Love,
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
faithmairee
Fri, 2011-06-17 17:48
Thank You Rosina
I'm thrilled that you liked this so much. The magazine I sent it to published it and paid me good money for it. Thank you for your supportiveness.
Love,
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
faithmairee
Fri, 2011-06-17 18:17
Awwwww Rosi
I'm honored by your wonderful remarks. I have such high regard for you both as a poet and a person. You just made my heart smile. Thank you, my friend.
Love ya,
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
faithmairee
Fri, 2011-06-17 17:51
Kal
Please don't try to antagonize my friend, Rosina. She doesn't deserve it and I won't stand for it.
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
faithmairee
Sat, 2011-06-18 10:51
Mercy Sakes
I won't even dignify this with a response.
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
loved
Fri, 2011-06-17 18:27
you are more knowledgeable
from the depths one can fathom
of
imagination and creation
yes u rrrrrrrrrr
loved
faithmairee
Fri, 2011-06-17 18:30
Twice Tonight
My heart is smiling twice tonight. Thank you, Loved for making it happen. You are loved, Loved. It bears repeating. Yesssssss. You are loved!!!!!
love,
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.
faithmairee
Sat, 2011-06-18 13:43
Dear Rosi
I think you did, Rosi! Thank you for your comments and encouragement., but mostly for your friendship. I'm so glad you are here.
Love you lots,
Faith
There must be a poem in here somewhere.