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A Morning Walk With Dylan

Hands deeply pocketed, a stone is kicked, to make it dance and skip along the path.
Only to divert to the edge of the dock where, with a plop, it sinks, swaying as it sinks and dances it’s last dance and invisibly, it slips away to the deep.
The marina is quiet this time of the morning, before the melange of students, workers, runners and walkers wake to greet the new day.
As I turn up Cambrian Place, the home of ship owner’s, maritime insurance and the purveyors of coal and grain.
I note the slippery and well oiled cobblestones that carried his venerable feet to Adelaide Street and the Evening Post.
He actually walked these streets and admired the comings and going’s of its inhabitants. Labelling and listing each accent, word, gate and trait.
How many who have read his works have seen themselves in the folded passages of his written word and world.
Seventy years on I now walk in his footsteps, past the little theatre and onto the Swing Bridge that at one time carried trains and lorries to and from the docks.
Looking down I see a cigarette end in the dusty gutter, still smouldering and remembering the last guttural cough.
Ghostly, the sound of the old docks stirs in my mind and a voice quietly says “ To begin at the beginning “
To begin at the beginning ,these words were the first introduction for me in to his world. The first introduction to his words and his life.
A life where purity of his written word justifies the passion and the colloquial lilt of the Welsh spoken word.
Long ago I sat in the Antelope pub in the Mumbles just to soak up the beer smell and the muffled murmurings of the old men at the bar.
On a Saturday morning I’d sit in the Kardomah Café imagining a Bohemian gathering of poets, musicians and writers.
Oh what things did the Café witness and what musings and critiques do the empty chairs whisper and repeat when the doors are closed.
Walking back to my apartment I thank Captain Cat for his memory and for my dreams of Polly Garter and I stand and reflect with the young Dylan at the little Theatre Square and gob at a Gull for luck and acknowledge the long dead and their trials.
Chris OMalley

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Dylan Thomas sang as he talked, as he dreamt and as he thought. His passion and his love of the land, his land, his Wales, his Gwalia. X
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "A Morning Walk With Dylan" presents a vivid and immersive journey through a town, effectively using descriptive language to paint a picture of the surroundings. However, there are areas where the poem could be improved.

1. Clarity: The poem would benefit from more clarity in its narrative. While the descriptive language is rich, it can be difficult to discern the main theme or message. Is it a tribute to Dylan Thomas? A reflection on the past? A commentary on the changes in the town? More explicit connections could be made to help guide the reader through the narrative.

2. Punctuation: The poem could benefit from more careful use of punctuation. There are several long sentences that could be broken up for easier reading. For example, the sentence "Only to divert to the edge of the dock where, with a plop, it sinks, swaying as it sinks and dances it’s last dance and invisibly, it slips away to the deep." could be divided into smaller sentences or use semicolons to separate the ideas.

3. Consistency: The poem seems to shift between past and present, reality and imagination, without clear transitions. This can make it difficult for the reader to follow. More consistent use of tense and clearer transitions between different states or times could help improve the flow of the poem.

4. Word Choice: The poem uses a mix of simple and complex language. While this can create an interesting contrast, it can also lead to confusion. For example, the use of the word "gob" in the last line seems out of place compared to the rest of the language in the poem. Consistent word choice could help create a more cohesive tone.

5. Structure: The poem could benefit from a more defined structure. While free verse can be effective, the lack of a clear structure in this poem can make it difficult to follow. Consider using stanzas to group related ideas together and guide the reader through the poem.

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