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My Monarch
Regal in her presence she sits.
Served and assisted with pleasure.
No title, no land to her name.
Beneficent, she rules without measure.
My queen, my monarch, my sawyer.
In serfdom and care I reside.
Your palace, a domain we both cherish.
Your royal banner I’ll carry with pride.
Into battle your colours I will carry.
Close to my heart in splendour they’ll reside.
Your foes I will defeat without fear.
Your strength is the steed I will ride.
To sit by your side in reverence.
And assure you, upper most respect.
With our passion and positivity overflowing
Spilling affection in every aspect.
No title, no land and no crown jewels.
No indenture, no kingdoms to rule.
No minions who will bow down at your presence.
I’m your knight in shining armour.
Your servant, your foot man, your fool.
Chris O’Malley
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Region & Country
South Wales U.K
Favorite Poets
Dylan Thomas is my true inspiration. His observations and his depiction of people are amusing and true to the culture of Wales., Dafydd ap Gwilym is regarded as one of the leading Welsh poets and amongst the great poets of Europe in the Middle Ages. Again his poetry never grows old and his depiction of life at those times lives on today., Ocean Vuong, the beautiful language of this Vietnamese-American poet Ocean is evoking and spiritual. He explores his family history, the effects of war and the complexities of love. I believe that Vuong’s “Night Sky with Exit Wounds” is a great place to start for anyone who wants to start reading poetry.
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Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2024-01-02 11:30
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "My Monarch" by Chris O’Malley presents an interesting exploration of devotion and reverence towards an unnamed figure of authority. The poem effectively uses metaphorical language to depict the speaker's loyalty and admiration. However, there are a few areas that could benefit from further refinement.
The poem's structure appears to be free verse, without a consistent rhyme scheme or meter. While this can offer flexibility, it may also make the poem feel less cohesive. If the author wishes to maintain this form, it might be beneficial to incorporate more internal rhyme or rhythm to create a sense of unity.
The use of archaic terms such as "sawyer," "serfdom," and "steed" adds a historical or even fantastical tone to the poem. However, their usage could be clarified or expanded upon to ensure readers understand their significance. For example, "sawyer" typically refers to a person who saws wood, which may not be the intended meaning here.
The final line, "Your servant, your foot man, your fool," is a powerful conclusion that encapsulates the speaker's dedication. However, the term "night" seems to be a typographical error and should likely be "knight," given the poem's context and themes.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from more vivid, concrete imagery. While the metaphors and similes are effective, adding more sensory details could make the poem more engaging and immersive for readers. For example, describing the "colours" the speaker will carry into battle or the "strength" of the steed could add depth to these images.
Overall, the poem has a strong thematic core of loyalty and devotion. With some refinement in structure, clarification of terms, correction of typographical errors, and addition of sensory details, it could be even more impactful.
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-01-03 09:14
Hello Chris,
what a lovely tribute! Is see she has inspired you! all I have is King Trump. he does not inspire faltering poetry, lol. I very much like these lines:
I’m your knight in shining armour.
Your servant, your foot man, your fool.
It is very nice to meet you!
*hugs, Cat/Candlewitch
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Chris OMalley
Wed, 2024-01-03 15:38
My Monarch
This poem is about my wife Annie. Annie suffered a subarachnoid haemorrhage in 2014 which left her quadriplegic and substantially brain damaged. I cared for Annie at home for seven years. Eventually covid took Annie on our 43rd wedding anniversary.
author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2024-01-03 17:18
Dear Chris,
I am so sorry!!! I did not mean to offend, please forgive me. this summer Steven and I celebrated our 41st anniversary.
*I do not know what I would do with him, he is also my care-giver as I am handicapped
* hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Chris OMalley
Thu, 2024-01-04 01:08
My Monarch
No offence taken Cat. Ann has been and always will be a huge inspiration.
author commentChris OMalley
Thu, 2024-01-04 01:08
My Monarch
No offence taken Cat. Ann has been and always will be a huge inspiration.
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