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Hello
I play your strings to my symphony.
I am the artist that has painted your life since infancy.
I am your faith, your will, your joy, your hate I control all your emotions
simultaneously.
You will search for me and you will hold on to me,
You will cry because of me and you will loath those around you, that
I guarantee.
I am a weapon that can be used.
Play with me and you leave those you love so confused so utterly bruised.
This is how I will stay so ever amused.
I will give and I will take.
You will scream and plead as I slowly make you break. I will pull you in closer and whisper in your ear to ensure you never sleep and are forever awake.
I hold your life in my hands, I am indisputable
I am grotesque, but I am also so very beautiful.
My nature can and will always be mutable.
When it is sunny I can be a slippery slope.
When it is raining I can be a way for people to cope.
How rude of me I have forgotten to give you my name.
Hello, my name is Hope.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-10-21 05:52
Welcome to the site
Welcome to Neopoet. Ahh hope. It really is the bridge between the heart and the mind. Faith is the product of the mind. Love is the product of the heart. Hope is where they meet and exchange ideas.
Pretty good rhyme and rhythm here and the theme is great. I was asking the entire time if this was about the brain. I’m so very glad you answered the question you steered me into. What a great ending.
I’ll come back this evening and take another look.
Nice job and welcome,
Tim
Lavender
Fri, 2022-10-21 10:23
Hello
Greetings!
Quite the poem! I am very curious, and must say, much of the description seems void of hope, or at least the peace that hope usually brings. I was very surprised with your final line. I'll be back to read after others respond. I'd love to know and understand more about the nature of this poem. It is well written and intriguing.
Welcome!
Lavender
Jame Saul
Fri, 2022-10-21 18:58
Hi Lavender
really appreciate the comment. its one of those things for me. when I think of hope I think of Pandora's box and that it was at the bottom of it. I feel as if hope has to sides to it. 1 it can help people get through very tough times, holding and grasping to the hope of the future. on the other hand it can let you down and hurt you.
I'm glad it peaked your interest.
James
p.s thankyou for the welcome!
author commentMr joghe
Fri, 2022-10-21 15:14
Nice poem!
Nice poem!
'You will search for me and you will hold on to me,
You will cry because of me and you will loath those around you, that
I guarantee.'
I like the setting of the lines. Also the spontaneous feelings of the messages in the poetry are acknowledged.
"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."
RoseBlack
Sat, 2022-10-22 10:13
Welcome to Neo
Impressive first piece and very true of "hope." The ups and downs it takes us on, sometimes leaves us void and then there is always the pleasant surprise when it comes through. I like how raw you made the emotions in this feel. Good job.
~RoseBlack~