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Grounded
As the leaves let go their branches
Into their graceful twirling dance
Touching ground to find new purpose
Their death is but a second chance
Soon the snows will blanket forests
Cover hands now cracked and dry
Beneath a white and sliver carpet
Delivered to them from the sky
Upon the ground the years do pile
Becoming soul food for the tree
Like the leaves keep yearly dropping
Emotions keep escaping me
I find it’s best to let them lie
Feed the ground and not the rake
Soon springs forth lush new ideas
From nutrients that I uptake
Mistakes are just like rotting leaves
About your feet and all around
Let them go and let them fall
To where they might enrich the ground
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Settling in for the long New England winter. Not. My. Fav.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Mr joghe
Tue, 2022-10-11 16:55
Good write.
Good write.
The last stanza tells the meaning of your poem.
There are a lot of comparison's objects such as leaves and emotion like twins.
'Mistakes are just like rotting leaves
About your feet and all around
Let them go and let them fall
To where they might enrich the ground'
It's beautiful!
"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2022-10-11 18:47
Thank you
Such kind words. I am truly humbled by the support, commentary, and direction I get from the members here. It is a nice place to be.
Overflowing with gratitude
Tim