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Woman in the Pane
The woman in the window glared at its glass,
These hallowed panes with fittings of brass
Have kept her captured, gaunt, and frail,
Smothering her boring, vehement wail.
Stripped are her trinkets, trifles, appeal,
Prized possessions in glaring masses.
These panes suppress all that is real
Concealed and maintained, composed for classes.
The woman in the window finally escaped:
Brimming, then spilling, ovately shaped.
Making her entrance, she greedily sped
No one was there; she lamented with dread.
The pains of the window, now reinforced,
Would strain to blockade her torrential course.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-07-28 14:27
hello Zachary,
welcome to Neopoet! it is very nice to meet you. I see this is your very first poem you have posted on this site. if you have any questions about Neopoet, just ask any Advocate and they should be able to help you.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Jackweb
Thu, 2022-07-28 14:39
Welcome aboard !
Neopoet is a good place to be. Stay here and keep sharing your beautiful poetry. We have literary luminaries who are poised to help.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Rosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2022-07-28 17:49
You write incredibly well for a Sophomore
Fantastic job young man. I started writing poetry my junior year. Had a really special English teacher who noticed my interest and ability gave me a little nudge and trusted fate to do the rest.
This is really impressive writing. Great images. Amazing vocabulary. I cannot wait for more.
Welcome,
Tim
RoseBlack
Thu, 2022-07-28 18:26
Welcome to Neopoet
Very impressive write! The images, the meaning, flow and vocabulary were amazing. I look forward to seeing more from you.
~RoseBlack~
Ray Whitaker
Fri, 2022-07-29 15:43
Welcome to this website!
This is almost a sonnet. Nice work, for a person in High School!
I'm looking forward to reading more of your work...
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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