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UNLEARNING SELF-PITY
I have been trying hard
to neither forget myself
nor become plagued
with having to recall
who I was before this man
sitting sullen-faced
before a cracked reflection.
Our people say reflections crack
when onlookers stare
at mirrors without blinking.
I have bought their words
and learnt that
you can never, ever,
pause the soul,
never create a saint
out of self-pity.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words:
Really miss being here. Feels so good to have more time for poetry once again. I'd appreciate your views family. Thanks.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Eumolpus
Tue, 2018-10-23 20:50
Very incitful poem
after a few reads of this short work, I would make it shorter:
Our people say reflections crack
when onlookers stare
at mirrors without blinking.
I have bought their words
and learned that (spell check)
you can never, ever,
pause the soul,
never create a saint
out of self-pity.
I think this involves me the reader without the explanation in the first stanza. The work has more punch and poetic truth. Love the opening "our people say" .
My take. Nice poem!
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
Osadolor Osayande
Wed, 2018-10-24 08:30
Thanks Eumolpus, really
Thanks Eumolpus, really appreciate.
IRiz
Wed, 2018-10-24 10:48
Your poem has a unique feel
Your poem has a unique feel of a real painful and experience. A pleasure to meet you.
IRiz
Osadolor Osayande
Thu, 2018-11-01 07:11
Thanks
Thank you Iriz. Glad you liked it.