Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Dactyl (meter workshop)
.
Travel through time with me now and remember the hopes and the fantasies
Think on the dreams we had then, in those days when the world was so young.
.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Workshop:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
judyanne
Wed, 2017-05-10 02:08
Thank you Mark
for your input
I have trouble understanding why you think the meter of the second verse is out
I can only say that it must be due to accent....
I really appreciate your thoughts, any crit will make me check the work.... but in this case I still think my verse is dactyl
Your verse is fine, but it changes what I am saying
Thanks again for your comment, it is appreciated
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
wesley snow
Tue, 2017-05-09 15:33
I like your change Mark,
but I don't have a problem with Judy's version. Thank you for the Alexandrine.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
judyanne
Wed, 2017-05-10 02:09
Thanks Wes
Glad you read this as dactyl
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
judyanne
Wed, 2017-05-10 02:33
Lol
You sound like me re your sleep pattern....
Thanks for the return visit
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
weirdelf
Mon, 2017-07-03 06:42
My reading
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0XYWJcX45IY
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry