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That's All There Is
That's all there is
I found the end of the line
the end of me
the end and the limit
of everyone's patience.
I found the end of fear,
and it's a bittersweet place;
I'm not sure I like it much.
To be yourself,
scratch that,
to be myself
I learned a lot
has to be given up.
I had to ask myself
"is it worth it?"
A really long time ago
I gave up me.
And so, when I took "me" back up
I did it at the cost of everything else.
Sometimes I wear a T - shirt
that says
"Jesus Loves you,"
and I wonder if that's even true anymore.
Sometimes, I ask myself if God
is a "What have you done for Me lately?"
kind of god.
Sometimes, I wonder that of all people.
I wish Bob Schoenbeck were here.
There are times I convince myself
that none of any of this would have happened,
or at least would have happened more sensibly
if he were still around.
But then I remember who I am,
the cost involved with being myself,
and tell myself, remind myself
that I said
"I'm prepared to pay the price."
I'd quip, and make a witty remark
about hidden fees,
but have not an ounce of cleverness left in me.
But now,
for now,
I live in a world of lawyers getting rich.
I.
Not you and I,
not we,
there is no we,
there is no you and I.
There is only I.
That's all there is.
Comments
Esker
Thu, 2016-03-24 20:38
witty.....
like the current of this one..
like the sky that had both
directional winds
like creeks that the surface flows
one way and the
curling depths roll up stream
to surf the surface...
enjoyed this and I've lived this
live this
thank U !
Conect11
Fri, 2016-03-25 08:19
Living this is hard
but live this I must.
That is the way of things.
raj
Fri, 2016-03-25 14:51
self appraisal and coming to
self appraisal and coming to terms with oneself is truly worth the effort when one feels down and you have taken the reader through the travails...
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)