The stream (all workshops)
There is a space that is filled with longing
To hear the soft tender song in your voice
A void created by distance and the silent’s
Inside my much torched soul.
Accepting, that freedom is not a state of mind
But how you live, and how it brings to you
A wonderful feeling, which is called peace.
Your center which guides your universe.
I reveled on the fringe,
gathered my skirts...
I loved to love and hated
my love of the tainted love
that drowned out the sounds
of drowning men in the sea of
modernity. I scoffed at excess
and drew perpendicular lines in the
sand, announcing myself the prophet
of the ages, an oracle of poetry.
Blind to an unseen gaze
stalking me in the dark alleys I'd ventured
I stumbled on the fracture of confused thoughts
steering them through an insane traffic
deaf to the sirens howling at me
amidst the din of
pendulous swings of my conscience
My seamless thoughts knew no bounds
on hearing gunshots and screams
waking up to read the count
of the Fourth Estate
I felt like throwing up
counting baked beans on my toast
gone rancid...
raj (sublime_ocean)
15aug2011
I'm including the original with the revision because I got a lot of good solid critique with this and want to compare the differences directly.
Hard Man
I wish I was a hard man,
who men look at in fear.
I wish I was a hard man,
who women palpitate for in fear
I wish I was a hard man
so friends wouldn't call for help
in the middle of the night
I wish I was a hard man,
so women wouldn't love me,
as a friend.
Then I wouldn't have the responsibility I have,
of love.
Hard Man
Dear Dad
I've spent too much time hating you
and now I miss you.
You died before I could say
important things
like I love you,
I miss you,
you taught me
but not enough before you left.
I thought you were a prig,
controlled by logic,
your heart a cold grey thing.
But now I know,
you did the best you could
with what you had.
I forgive you
and I apologise
for judging you.
Hope springs forth like a river
In the heart of man till life’s end
That he be blessed round and round
His future better than yesterday
Hope comes in and bears the storm
Like a mother in the heart of man,
She does not rest till the child is calm
When the travails of life weigh him down
Hope gives solace to the weary soul
She comes in and bears the storm
I recall a chuckling clear cold stream
shaded by oaks and cottonwood
where egrets and the blue cranes stood
while searching for catfish and bream
feasting on them when they could
Riffles raced o'er rocky shoals
between the pools so deep and green
where bass and crayfish could be seen
when sunbeams pierced between great boles
and through the canopy's thick screen
(following http://new.neopoet.com/node/broadway-lovesick-puppies )
..you and me,
that’s all.
the stage is set-
for the second coming,
as I take center-stage
I am
illuminated,
by the spotlight
irradiated,
by the eyes.
imperceptible
in disguise.
the curtain’s lifting
the fog, settling
the lights, dimming.
the spotlight, shifting
to your face.
Once More, With Love
Each one on this old,
now new Neopoet
is a classic
I learn from the very core
that each one of you reveals
from the fathoms
of your hearts!
How I wish I too had
Such a fathomless heart,
As love sinks deep
In each poem I read
My mind does plead
Oh Loved
When wilt thou accomplish
Such a deed
I wonder and shudder
That’s all indeed.
Your poetries are jewels
Strewn across the Internet
I have by now fully screened
But nothing comes in-between
Here
in this garden
is where I commune
with my God.
He is the earth beneath my fingernails,
the joy in my heart,
the squeals of my children
as they dance
in the dirt.
He is the face
of the flower
flourishing in my light.
The colour of sunset,
the darkness of night.
Here
in this home,
admist this mess
is where I worship
my Goddess.
She is the bubbles
in my babies bath,
the eggs, pickling in the jar
and the laughter
between a husband and a wife.
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