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Past Bitterness Of Anger

Beyond accusing anger
and burn of bitterness
wrought from beaten jealousies
of rank contempt
risen in fury and fatigue,
the touch of one hand
caught within another
is miraculous.

So we slowly stroll
across the pale sunlight
of September afternoon,
fingers intertwined,
palms pressed warm,
speaking of long years
spent as moments together.

Crowds cannot distract
us back to our forgotten rage,
nor cool breeze from unseen river
tempt either you or I
from this simple sharing
driving every doubt away.

The feel of your hand in mine
is sweet memory of ecstacy pressed
intimate in pleasure
of a wonderous joining
that brought our children
into being-

and now, I forget
why we had fought.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Sometimes we fight, and I love the aftermath, heehee.

Comments

This I loved reading and think it a very good poem, I find no fault on the first read. And as I read it once more I find it still a fine poem and praise you for its creation.

Ann of the north with love.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

I am glad you liked it so much.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

Thanks Rosina, for your kind comments!

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

i adore
'speaking of long years
spent as moments together'

your wife is a very lucky lady
love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

But I am the luckier half of our marriage.
I wrote this sitting in the car as we ate lunch and talked, scribbling in those odd little moments of pause between talkiing, on the day we went down to Indianapolis after the fight we had.
So she was my editor on this one, heehee.
Would that every editor would be so...

:D

Thanks again.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

The abrupt and well worn title...
...um...
...ah...
...well...

...because, in truth, it was a rushed afterthought, heehee.
You are right, it needs better, so I'll give it some thought.

Thanks Chrys,

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment

Can not...cannot...you're right, I changed it.
Burn instead of born...no, I meant burn, lol.
Yes, you are picky....and I would have it no other way, my friend.

I am so glad you find such enjoyment in my poem, Ian.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

author comment
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