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Epitaph

Submitted by Obadiah Grey on Sat, 2023-06-03 11:54

Here lies the body of Obadiah,
died for the want of
an un-punctured tyre.

Obi.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Sat, 2023-06-03 18:00

Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem "Epitaph". The brevity of the poem is striking and the use of humor in the last line adds a unique touch to the overall tone. However, I would suggest considering the following points to further enhance the poem:

1. Consider adding more details about Obadiah's life or personality to make the poem more personal and engaging. This will help the reader connect with the subject of the poem and make the epitaph more memorable.

2. The poem's structure is simple and straightforward, which works well for the message you are conveying. However, you could experiment with different poetic forms or techniques to add more depth and complexity to the poem.

3. The use of the word "un-punctured" is clever, but it may not be immediately clear to all readers. Consider rephrasing the line to make the meaning more accessible.

Overall, "Epitaph" is a witty and concise poem that leaves a lasting impression. With a few

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Sat, 2023-06-03 17:38

Was it...

a blowout? ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Ruby Lord

Sun, 2023-06-04 05:07