There was a young man from Mauritius
Who found eating pussies nutritious
Roasted boiled or fried
It cannot be denied
That the meat was sublimely delicious

Bound by limitless duality
of passion and desire,
our need was mutually welcomed,
shivered touch an eagerness
unbridled through dark patchwork
hints of empty towns in sleeping country,
haunted by a lowering moon, swift on winding
paths of ancient stars through moonlit clouds
and shadowed stands of ripened corn
whispered with a kiss of breeze
from night's cool sigh of discontent
at the promise of a pale dawn
echoing with distant touch of deity,
hinting breaths unfolding,

When I was young I had a car
It didn’t cost too much
It didn’t have a speedo
It didn’t have a clutch
The doors, they wouldn’t open
And the roof was non existent
The wheels were always squeaking
And the noise was quite persistent
It never had a gear stick
And the windscreen wasn’t there
This was my pride and joy, and so
I really didn’t care
The only thing that bugged though
Should it begin to shower
I couldn’t get home quick
‘cause, it was only pedal power

The aging lepidopterist

Eternally the optimist

A lifetime spent in searching for

The rarest creature, nothing more

But one day soon without a doubt

He’s sure that he will seek her out

He’ll net this most elusive bug

And finding her, they’ll kiss and hug

Then looking deep within her eyes

His stomach fills with butterflies

I was on the road to Damascus
When suddenly I was struck
No. It wasn’t a Damascene moment
Just big red up truck

A farmers work aint easy
It’s an ‘ard and lonely life
I never gets to town much
So its ‘ard to find a wife
I’m up at dawn most every morn
A milking an’ a feeding
Then afternoons I’m in the fields
A ‘oeing an’ a weeding
So when the sun goes down at night
The working day be done
I’ll go down to the sheep pen
Just to pick a pretty one
They sees me in my wellies
And they all begin to bleat
They knows that I am there to give,
Some special girl a treat

I once saw a man eating chicken
It was truly a hideous sight
It wasn’t quite what I expected
As I walked down the street late at night

I watched as the victim lay helpless
I stood in the lamplight alone
Rooted with fear by the sounds I could hear
While the flesh was ripped off of the bone

I took in the view there before me
Appalled by the thing’s I could see
As the huge hulking beast continued to feast
I feared the next victim was me

My name is Arabella
And I’m really such a girly
I like to wear nice dresses
And my hair is blonde and curly

With underwear by Reger
And Prada on my feet
Made up to perfection
I give all the men a treat

My perfect breasts the envy
Of the women that I see
They look me up and down
And how, they wish that they were me

I’m very nearly faultless
And quite soon with any luck
I’ll have the money saved
So I can have the nip and tuck

Somebody’s stolen her knickers
They were left out to dry in the sun
Why were they so cruel and heartless
Was it done out of spite or for fun
Pink panties, purloined by a weirdo
Did they do it for some sort of dare
Surely they knew, like most of us do
That these were her solitary pair
We watched as she sat down and blubbered
We felt for this big bonnie lass
And then all as one “what is to be done
To cover her huge naked ass”
So we all put in money to buy some
A pair that were pretty, yet strong

One night I was walking in the woods,
It was blustery and cold,
I was the night the Whisper came,
And this story must be told.

At first I thought it was the wind,
Blowing in the trees,
Then I heard the slightest voice,
Flowing through the breeze.

I felt warm breath around my neck,
Then it crept up to my ear,
The voice I heard was soft and sweet,
But It filled me up with fear.