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>insert words here<
there are wiki leaks and
super-bugs
with
more changes
than superman
teen mothers
child drug addicts and
baby martyrs
waiting to be born
while we are
fucking one another
with our backs
against the wall
every moan
elicits reaction
your rasping breath
and salty sweat
grinds hips
in circles
whispers rise
the words are said
>oh god oh god<
as flaccidly
you recede
and like the power of prayer
i am left with nothing
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
Melbourne, Australia
Favorite Poets
Bukowski, Neruda, Rumi, Gibran, Jeffers, Corso, Waldman, Kerouac
Comments
CCfire
Fri, 2011-06-03 17:36
Thanks JC, yes the beginning
Thanks JC, yes the beginning was going to be much longer with the woes of the world but the two that stuck first were Assange and the fact a new viral superbug ecoli was discovered yesterday in Europe...but I may expand
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
author commentthemoonman
Fri, 2011-06-03 05:25
Insert words???
Didn't expect that at all and I love it when that
happens. You know how when you are watching
a movie or reading a poem and the ending is so
obvious that there is no sense in finishing ... well
that certainly isn't a problem with this write, totally
enjoyed this read and all I can say is the right "tools"
can help anywhere, anytime.
thanks for posting here gal, you're a freshening for
an old spirit like mine.
Richard
CCfire
Fri, 2011-06-03 17:35
I always have felt a poem
I always have felt a poem needed an 'aha' moment, glad you got one from this lol
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
author commentscribbler
Fri, 2011-06-03 06:33
Hmmm..........
Sound like time for a change in male companionship lmao.............stan
CCfire
Fri, 2011-06-03 17:34
haha not necessarily a
haha not necessarily a personal event stan just a general observation that the world burns while people continue to procreate lol
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
author commentKailashana2
Fri, 2011-06-03 09:41
....A poem at the peak of its
....A poem at the peak of its perfection and is all that and more!
Insert....admiration.
~A
CCfire
Fri, 2011-06-03 17:33
That's a wonderful comment
That's a wonderful comment Ana, thanks so much for reading
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
author commentGeezer
Fri, 2011-06-03 09:43
Surprising...
This did start out as just something to read, then as it progressed, I found myself saying: "Oh yeah, oh yeah! I then had the thought that you might be so bored with whomever you were with, that the first part of the poem might be describing watching T.V. as you were engaged in sex? At least my take. And Scribbler's too, I think! ~ Very well done, ~ Geezer
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
CCfire
Fri, 2011-06-03 17:32
The poem itself deals with
The poem itself deals with this chaotic world and what transpires within and the sex is really a metaphor for humans who don't really give a flying toss for anything around them save their own personal gratification...I think I might leave the 'personal' nature of the rest out of it lol
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
author commentloved
Fri, 2011-06-03 11:30
If you permit me to add on
your last line needs a bit of modification
as flaccidly.... you recede and like the power of prayer
i am left with nothing????
when women pray for something
miraculous and creative
tis only then they realise
They have been
PROPERLY SEEDED....
and that is something,
no not nothing. ,
as a prayer needs to be answered
you know it
too.
???
loved
CCfire
Fri, 2011-06-03 17:31
Loved I know what you mean
Loved I know what you mean but I am not one of the overtly religious people who see that 'something exists' simply because we are told it does. Religion and all of its ordered trappings to me are a clever fairytale woven to keep the faithful under a churches control. That part is a play on rebelling against the thought of prayer actually achieving anything at anytime.
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
author commentloved
Fri, 2011-06-03 17:47
EARLIER There were only two main businesses
PROSTITUTION
AND
RELIGION
NOW ALL OVER
THE WORLD ITS
POLITICKS
YES TICKS
loved
raj
Fri, 2011-06-03 23:10
Chez..
this is a thought provoking and stimulating write...i must say your poetry is never bland...more often than not it has a spice in it...
raj (sublime_ocean)
CCfire
Sat, 2011-06-04 10:10
LOL
Ian I guess that makes everyone's insert words a little different :)
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
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