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Blood Tears
As I sit here in my own misery.
My thoughts begin to race, to the
extreme. I began to cry in a ruby
colored liquid. I realized it was tears
of blood.
My thought was that strong. Ruby
droplets ran down my face. Each
drplet hits he floor with a splatter
Gathering with the other to create a
pool upon my bare feet. The more I
thought, the more the tears.
They come to the end at my chin and fall
from there to the floor below me making
a pool of blood. My ruby tears continue
each time weep. Why do my tears continue
each time I cry. I The wonder of my
thought are set upon why my droplets
are crimson in hue.
My tinny droplets will always be crimson.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Direction):
[This option has been removed]
Editing stage:
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Comments
Pixee
Fri, 2011-02-18 07:56
Hey yenti
It is hard to write about what is inside of me. I have manic depression.
I live with this day in and day out. It was hard for me to write this. But I
had to let it out some what. It has been a long time since the sun has
shown on me and will be that much longer. I know I have brought grief
and sadness to my family. I know they love me, but I can't help but think
about doing away with myself at times. But I stay here to keep my Mother
and Father happy. I love my Father sooo....very much!!! I hope my eyes will
be opened soon to see the world with clear eyes once again. You have
really helped me out with your reply. I thank you for taking time to send
me a piece of happiness my way. Thank you once again.
Poetry is the living soul of a writer.
Pixee
author commentKailashana2
Fri, 2011-02-18 06:40
Dear Pixee,
Dear Pixee,
Poetry is all about showing and not telling. You also have several misspellings.
Try to limit your usage of words, especially repetitive ones. This one would lend itself to haiku.
If I may...
tears form rivulets
crimson stains on cheeks and floor
my eyes are bleeding
~A
Pixee
Fri, 2011-02-18 08:11
Hi Kail
I do have a problem with redundentcy when I write.
I don't notice it when I am writing. I read and reread
my poem and it always sounds good to me, of course.
I am glad that you are here to help me with my writings.
Your critiquings is always treasured. I do learn from you
each time you critique my poetry. Thank you for taking
your time to reply to my writings. You are my workshop
buddy, I consider you one. Thank you for your time
Poetry is the living soul fo the writer.
Pixee
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