Memoirs

Appreciation comes so voluntarily
it smartens my heart
and
memories.
mundane ,horrific and wonderful
as you say,
let our lovely memories
as fresh as ever stay
for the remembrance of the past
does not ever evanesce
but does last
till memory is watered
and
twill you amaze
I can recall my very first birthday.
don't laugh,
memories will never vanish
they always will stay
until life itself
fades away'.

Shaman, Shaman dance for me
for I need your magic now
as sure death grows within me
use ancestors' knowing how

O great Shaman cast your spell
in this dim lit house of glass
ban what makes me fell unwell
I'm not ready yet to pass

Shaman....Doctor mix your potions
bite me with needles of steel
let machines of wonder record the motions
of doom pulsing from crown to heel

What strength will you give me,
When I am old and frail,
When I want to do things,
That my body won’t let me,
What strength will you give me?

What warmth will you bestow me,
When I am tired and weak,
When my bones ache with cold,
That won’t leave me,
What warmth will you bestow me?

What kindness will you show me,
When the days are drawing near,
When my memory has failed,
And you don’t understand me,
What kindness will you show me?

I wonder how I feel for you so others I do ask, I ask if this is lust or love this feeling I can't grasp. I feel as if this may be love but that I do not know. The feelings that I have for you I hope they never go. I wonder if we'll stay together for all the years to pass, I know we both have feelings for each other yet I do hear myself ask. Is this feeling lust or love and will this feeling last?