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Write a love poem without using the word love

For my accomplished accomplice

Smile stay
be with me always
my lady eternal flame
light of life
wonderful haunting aching crying
raging at imagined deceit
coming up for air with a smile
alive in your golden eyes

You touched a place
no one reached before
nights days
all your crazy ways
wise alive
carefree child
companion friend
don’t let this ever end

We’ve got so far to go
farther still when we get there
but I wouldn’t want to get there
with anyone but you

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: Write a love poem without using the word love
Poem text:
For my accomplished accomplice

Smile stay
be with me always
my lady eternal flame
light of life
wonderful haunting aching crying
raging at imagined deceit
coming up for air with a smile
alive in your golden eyes

You touched a place
no one reached before
nights days
all your crazy ways
wise alive
carefree child
companion friend
don’t let this ever end

We’ve got so far to go
farther still when we get there
but I wouldn’t want to get there
with anyone but you

Feedback:

1. Imagery: This poem contains vivid imagery that helps to convey the depth of emotion the speaker feels for their partner. The use of phrases such as "eternal flame" and "golden eyes" adds a sense of warmth and intensity to the poem.

2. Structure: The poem is divided into three stanzas, each with a distinct focus. The first stanza focuses on the partner's qualities, the second on the connection between the speaker and their partner, and the third on their journey together. This structure helps to create a clear narrative and progression of emotions throughout the poem.

3. Word choice: The choice of words and phrases in this poem is effective in evoking emotion without explicitly using the word "love." For example, the phrase "accomplished accomplice" suggests a strong bond and partnership, while "carefree child" and "companion friend" emphasize the multifaceted nature of the relationship.

4. Consistency: The poem maintains a consistent tone and theme throughout, effectively conveying the speaker's feelings without directly mentioning love. Additionally, the poem's title serves as a creative constraint that is consistently adhered to.

Suggestions for improvement:

1. Clarity: Some lines in the poem, such as "wonderful haunting aching crying" and "raging at imagined deceit," may benefit from further clarification or rephrasing to better convey their intended meaning.

2. Rhythm: Consider revising the poem's rhythm and line breaks to create a more consistent flow. For example, the lines "nights days" and "wise alive" could be restructured to improve the poem's overall rhythm.

3. Punctuation: The poem currently lacks punctuation, which can make it difficult for readers to follow the intended pauses and breaks. Adding punctuation, such as commas and periods, can help guide readers through the poem and enhance its overall readability.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

like I would want someone to feel about me. You have managed to get so much [love] in there, that it just oozes out from everywhere! You don't have to say it, it feels like it, smells like it and tastes like it. Delicious!
~ Geezer.
.

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author comment

lovely crafted piece! Truly, there's embodiment emotions throughout the whole poem. Excellent delivery without mentioning love therein.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

May your every day and night be the stuff of (good) dreams...

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