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When i am dead
When I die tomorrow,
don't bother to shed tears,
neither come for funeral,
cos I can't return you,
these precious favours.
Instead cut first rose of dawn,
brew tea and light cigarette,
don't straighten folds of sheet,
time would stop and smile,
we will be together again.
©® Kumar Ramesh
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Jackweb
Wed, 2022-06-15 02:08
Hello Kumar!
Welcome aboard!
Death is one of the constants of life. So, every one
deals with it in different ways. For a poet to express his grief in elegy means he is fully aware of his passage. When someone dies he or she goes with nothing.
So, I am yet to understand the precious favours you said you can't return.
Edit this line 4: "cos I can't return you,
should be: ( 'cause I can't return to you"
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Kumar Ramesh
Wed, 2022-06-15 14:50
The gestures shown to dead
The gestures shown to dead can’t be reciprocated and that is what protagonist is talking about. I don’t feel any editing is called for. Thank you for reading and commenting.
author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2022-06-15 06:45
dear Kumar,
I echo what Onyinechi said. he really knows his stuff!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Kumar Ramesh
Wed, 2022-06-15 14:51
Gratitude for your comment.
Gratitude for your comment.
author commentGeezer
Wed, 2022-06-15 10:34
Unlike yourself...
I am in favor of funerals or parties to celebrate the life of the deceased. It helps the bereaved to deal with the loss of a loved one, to know that there were others that loved and honored them as much as yourself. I've told my relatives that when I pass, I want everyone to get together and have a celebration. Everyone that ever knew me is invited, if you can't get along with those that attend, just stick to those you can. I want people to say, "Hey, that was a great time, and I'm glad that I got meet and associate with my friend/relative's people." I understand there is a certain amount of emotion and feeling that "I don't want people to make a fuss, but consider it an honor that you would return if you could. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Kumar Ramesh
Wed, 2022-06-15 14:53
It is all matter of
It is all matter of perception and individual choices. I respect yours and I will stand by mine. Thanks for reading and commenting.
author comment