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Rainbow rhapsody

If you could hear colours
And if you could see sounds
You would hear the rainbow
And see how my heart pounds

Each time that our eyes meet
And as I hear your voice
A colourful musical harmony
Erupts without a choice

Blue into yellow
Yellow to red
Creating warmth in my heart
And hope in my head

You brought my colours back
my soul No longer black
see the beauty from my song
all the others saw it wrong.

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Good meter. Good title. I like the subject matter. It’s a nice complete thought. Well composed. I like lovey stuff!

Tim

all of that and, I most like these lines:

You brought all my colours back
The depths of my soul No longer black
You see beauty from my spirit song
When all of the others just heard it wrong.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Those lines end the poem so nicely!

Thanks Tim I really appreciate your comments x x

author comment

Thanks cat x x

author comment

Thanks guys x x x

author comment

this is nice! someone needs to write some music for it, so it could be sung

Thanks lol ...that is an awesome thought

author comment

I’d be willing to give it a try. There are links to the music I write and record on my profile.

That would be so cool...please do x

author comment

I love this!...
I do believe that your intention was for the lines to say:

"If you could [hear]colors
and you could [see] sounds

You would hear the rainbow
and see my heart pound - I changed the line just a bit to make the rhythm
. just a tad smoother.

I would delete the word [musical] making it:
"A colorful harmoney
erupts without choice"

You brought my colors back
My soul no longer back
See the beauty of my song
All the others saw it wrong

Of course, as always, it is your work and you can do it as you like. ~ Geezer.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

Also ...I've made the changes as they do make it flow better and make slightly more sense I think x

author comment

Yes lol....that was my intention and I can't believe I wrote that the wrong way round lol ...thanks for noticing x x

author comment

This is gonna be cool. What do you want for splits when it hits Spotify. We get like $.00003 per stream. Lol! But seriously though piano power ballad.

Tim

50 50 split lol ...I can't wait to hear it xx
Il send you my email later x x xao cool

author comment

Yeah I wrote some music.

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