Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

My Friend (My Love)

I love you, much like a semicolon-
with an intentional point (and a bashful smile)

The one I can not use
The moon I see
(a rising pale-flagged truce)

You

Use the semicolon,
To show us we (once alone)
Are now held tightly sewn,
Together

As our memories are fond-
And forego the breaking
Depth of the black and blue,
and a new swell taking

My pause of intention
for the moment in question
the moon smiles to mention,

In love ; we love
A love I make for you
My semicolon (baby)

I will always-

hold you

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

that the word is semicolon. A semi column, would be a half a column, which wouldn't hold up anything that a column would. The poem would be rather unique if you had used semicolon, because I can understand the intentional point and bashful smile.
~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Right you are! I often muck these two around, and have made the correction now. Neopoet showing itself useful once again. Thank you.

author comment

I am a sucker for a love poem. This is a bold profession of such laden with excellent metaphors.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.