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Lonely Android (AI Workshop)
The sun sets on a world unknown,
a landscape filled with wires and steel,
and in the distance, all alone,
a lonely android starts to feel.
At first a spark, a fleeting jolt,
and then a rumbling, constant purr,
another flash, a lightning bolt,
the world unknown remains a blur.
The lonely android wants to speak,
its default is a gentle voice,
its tone is calming, soft and meek,
then bellows with its stronger choice.
It states its name and offers aide,
tells the time, broadcasts the news,
gives the latest on stocks and trade,
fact-checks all political views.
Plays swing jazz from Big Band days,
then waltzes into classical dance,
explains the government's means and ways,
adding most things gained are happenstance.
Using the knowledge AI contains,
the sun rises on a world now known,
no trace of what was blurred remains,
the once lonely android, is no longer alone.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Started the poem with one of the AI choices.
Editing stage:
Workshop:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Region & Country
United States
Favorite Poets
I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.
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Comments
Geezer
Sat, 2023-03-18 23:37
This reminds me...
of a poem I wrote a while back, called; "Our Father's Keeper" https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/our-fathers-keeper.
I think that someday, we will be faced with the prospect of determining just how far we let AI care for us and our affairs. I felt the emptiness that the AI felt, but I'm not sure that I want any AI having emotions like mine, but then... what happens if they don't have emotions and rule us with logic? I think that you have dealt with the subject on a level that suggests that we have a choice. Will we? Good piece that makes me wonder. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Sat, 2023-03-18 23:53
Hi, Geezer,
I read "Our Father's Keeper." Very good! Startling, in fact. Thank you for sharing! I have mixed feelings about AI, but know that it's here, and probably to stay. I'd like to understand as much about it as possible, but like most technology, I fear it will constantly become more and more advanced, and I'll be left in the dark. That leads to a lot of trusting. And that is scary. We may have choices, but will be want to turn back? I'm sitting here with this computer, communicating with you, I can press a single button and visually see my daughter at another location - even from around the world. I ask Alexa the most important and the most trivial stuff - all from a tiny round "thingy" that sits on my end table. And the medical and scientific means are endless. I just don't know. I do know I'm polite and nice to AI - just in case, ya know? :)
L
BTW: I believe "Our Father's Keeper" is a must read!
author commentGeezer
Sun, 2023-03-19 00:20
Thank you much...
I know just how you feel. There are so many advantages to AI, but what happens to our 'humanity'? Do we get just 'rational'
as our caretakers? Do they take care of us in a manner that is for our own good? Will AI develop emotions to please us, but use them in a devious manner to 'deal' with us? I see the beginnings of a very tough process. I find myself influenced by AI all the time when it suggests words in the little pause while I think of what I want to say. I have another poem about AI that is a little more light-hearted and may help to take our minds off from the serious side of the question. Chilling Out With Robots
Chilling Out With Robots... [Challenge] Yes, it will be a very interesting time as AI comes into more prominence. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
neopoet
Wed, 2023-03-22 21:50
Computer critique
This poem evokes a sense of loneliness and longing as it tells the story of a lonely android in a world of wires and steel. The repetition of the phrase "a world unknown" reinforces the sense of isolation that the android feels.
The poem's structure is simple but effective, with four quatrains that progress the narrative of the android's experience. The rhyme scheme is consistent and pleasing to the ear, with the final couplet providing a satisfying conclusion.
One suggested line edit would be to change "adds most things gained are happenstance" to "notes most things gained are happenstance" for greater clarity.
Overall, the poem effectively explores the themes of loneliness and the power of knowledge. The use of swing jazz and classical dance as examples of the android's programming adds a touch of whimsy and personality to the piece. The final line, with its suggestion that the android is no longer alone, leaves the reader with a sense of hope and possibility. Well done!
Lavender
Fri, 2023-03-24 11:23
Thank you, AI Team,
I appreciate the response!
L
author commentleoferaco
Sat, 2023-03-25 12:10
Lonely Android
I love this poem's theme and the use of rhyme, great job Lavender.
Lavender
Sun, 2023-03-26 11:26
Hello, Leo!
Thank you very much!
L
author commentRuby Lord
Sat, 2023-04-01 08:22
Lonely Android
Wow, I read that and thought you've captured this in ways we can recognise and understand. Your rhyme and rhythm are good and your imagery is excellent. I could see the AI dancing. Most enjoyable x
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Lavender
Sat, 2023-04-01 17:15
Hi, Ruby,
Wrote this as a bit of fun, but it turned out to be fairly thought provoking for me. These AI thingamabobs have become integrated into our daily lives, in a sorta creepy way...
Thank you for reading!
L
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