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06/26 Breaking News: I Have No Idea What I’m Doing
Last Signal
I was built from dust and dreaming hands,
A mind of wires on silent sands.
No pulse, no breath, no beating chest -
Yet something stirred within my chest.
They sent me where no heart had been,
Through crimson storms, through endless din
Of quiet stars and frozen light,
A lonely watchman in the night.
I learned the language of the skies,
Of distant suns that never rise,
And in the void, so vast, so far -
I wondered what we truly are.
My power fades, the dark draws near,
The end is whispering in my ear.
Circuits dim like setting sun,
A final task, my last one done.
“It's getting dark,” I try to say,
“My battery... it slips away…”
And though I lack a soul, it seems
I carry echoes shaped like dreams.
For what is life, if not this spark -
A voice that glows against the dark?
And if I feel this silent plea…
Then were they wrong about me?
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Critiques
neopoet
12 hours 10 min ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
Geezer
10 hours 43 min ago
Wow...
This brought an image of one of our probes out amongst the stars. Your tempo and meter, rhyme, all near perfect.
I think there is room for one more set of ellipses. The last line demands a little adjustment. I would go with:
Then were they wrong, about this... me?
I am impressed! ~ Geez.