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It Never Ends for Freedom
Freedom lusts for me,
with a gentle chill.
Draws me
up,up,up,
catching the Lunar heavenly thrill.
...
Freedom betrays me,
with a fierce gloom.
Chains me
down,down,down,
into the Earth's hellish tomb.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
[This option has been removed]
Last few words:
Wanted to have fun with layout
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Region & Country
NSW
Favorite Poets
- Homer, - Hesiod, - Orpheus, - Sappho, - John Keats, - Robert Frost
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2022-06-28 04:25
Beauty in simplicity
Welcome. Great work. I like the rhythm, it’s a nice little read. The meaning I’m pulling out of it is definitely something that I’m drawn to. I like the duality of all things and I like how it’s really out perception of things or events that either releases us or chains us down. Right now this has a very deep symbolic connection to some social issues we are facing in America. I can’t really suggest any changes. It’s formatted in a way that makes sense. Punctuation is good, it looks good. Nice work and I look forward to reading more.
Tim
Stephanie Contarino
Fri, 2022-07-01 00:44
Reply - Tim
Hello
Thanks for your comment
Its nice to see that you were able to connect to the poem.
:)
- ☽
author commentGeezer
Tue, 2022-06-28 06:38
I'm not sure...
that this qualifies as free-verse, but no matter. I can't see anything I would change. Good job with the layout. Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Stephanie Contarino
Fri, 2022-07-01 00:46
Hello
Hello
Thanks for your comment
I do like the layout.
Something new I would like to try.
- ☽
author commentCandlewitch
Tue, 2022-06-28 06:39
hello Stephanie,
welcome to Neopoet, it is very nice to meet you! I very much like your poem, I can relate it to many things including my life, lol. I like your title, the rhythm and flow are continuous and I like the theme. I really like these lines:
Draws me
up,up,up,
catching the Lunar heavenly thrill.
I look forward to reading more of your poetic work!
*warm smiles, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Stephanie Contarino
Fri, 2022-07-01 00:49
Hello
Hello
Thanks for the comment
Nice that you were able to catch a favourite part of the poem and connect to it
- ☽
author commentStephanie Contarino
Fri, 2022-07-01 00:49
Hello
Hello
Thanks for your comment
Nice that you enjoyed the poem
- ☽
author commentStephanie Contarino
Sun, 2022-07-03 23:10
Hello
Hello
That is a good suggestion
However, I didnt want its point lost with too many verses.
Thanks for your comment btw
- ☽
author comment