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Dark Passage

Through the long dark passage I walk alone

Echo whispering voices of people that have gone

Drizzling pain from the ceiling does fall down

On my head it lands upon me like a thorny crown

Witches and goblins from a long ago past age

Try to conceal their inner haunting burning rage

Red eyes glowing like fire from a deep abyss

From the ground arises a smell of a static mist

Plumes of duality fight for my limited brain

As the walls surround me like prickling pain

Blooming from only past planted rotten seeds

As my scab covered wrist continues to bleed

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

the kind of crippling pain of depression or anxiety, that I see prevelant in today's society, I cannot speak to it, except to emphasize that there are many organizations and people that are there for you and others like you. I know, I know... I don't know what it's like; I only repeat that there are those out there, who will help if you ask. As to your poem; I can only say that you may benefit from a few commas here and there to keep the rhythm, otherwise it is a vivid reminder that the problem exists and you have done a good job, bringing it to the fore. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thanks Geezer for your comment. I really appreciate it. I would only say that some people, not all, that are depressed don't see that they are depressed. If you live with abnormity long enough it becomes normal. If that makes sense.

author comment

unfortunately it does. There are a couple of people in my life that are clinically depressed and refuse all help, choosing to lash out in anger instead; I live with that!
~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Describing the daily struggles of living with depression. I applaud you for bringing awareness and speaking from your own experiences. There are many who don't realize they need help or that help is available. Then there are those who choose to suffer silently. Well done.

~RoseBlack~

Thanks Rose. I suppose I consider myself stuck somewhere between the two.

author comment

Poetic dedication immersed in the awakening flame of impeccable poetic power. A new addition rich in extraordinary artistic thought.

When a poem carries poetic energy it pleases my heart. Lively presentation. Amazing nature of writing. Left behind the charm.
Excellent!
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"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

Thanks Jackweb. This one was a ruff one for me to write.

author comment

this is a very brave write. I am one who deals with clinical depression. it is a real butt-kicker, somehow we deal with it. I really feel for others who are afflicted. this is great that you can write about it, I know it helps me.

*hugs & good wishes, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thanks Cat. Writing helps me a lot too. I do not know what I would do without it. It is strange I can have words to write come to me for like 4 or 5 poems some days nothing.

author comment

strange souls, they come and go as they like. Sometimes, mine will highjack something I have started and run off with it! She always does a fantastic job! Sometimes she deserts me and leaves me hanging with something unfinished, only to return days later and tear up what we have done and start over, or to do something she was working on while she was gone! Don't fret, let her have her head. [I don't know why, but they almost always seem to be female.] Anyway, keep up the good work you both are doing fine. ~ Geezer.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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