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Confession
Confession
Blood is falling once again
as tears of sacrificial rain
to heal the souls of those insane
and sing them into sleep
narrow is the path they walk
few can comprehend their talk
fewer still are those who mock
the covenants they keep
blessed are the eyes that see
beyond the veil of sanctity
where God and man have liberty
to fellowship as one
truth is not for those who lie
or see the world through jaundiced eye
and sinners have no alibi
when all is said and done
prepare the way for what is right
open up, embrace the light
man is not prepared to fight
the evil he hath wrought
shed the mask of innocence
you wore so long with confidence
and contemplate your ignorance
for it will serve you not
C. Lon R. Bruso
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Sparrow
Fri, 2015-06-12 18:47
Lonnie
This is really mind bending and when reading it seems to take on a classic sound.
The theme is from that place where many fear to go, yet some have gone and returned, it is a place that brings raw thought to the fore.
A great write, Yours as always Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
Esker
Fri, 2015-06-12 22:51
Incredible!
rhyme on Lonnie!
excellent work!
I see the value of
this as "poetry"
in clear understanding
and power it conveys
Thank You!
Lonnie
Sat, 2015-06-13 09:20
Thank you Ian and Stephen
For taking time to read this, comprehend it's meaning, and leave me kind words too boot!
author commentSeren
Sat, 2015-06-13 15:22
Dear Lonnie
Definately a mind bender as was mentioned above and I found if you read it more than once there are many different messages and in reading they can transform into something else, I really connected with the beginning of this poem ... thank you my friend it was a pleasure to read, as always !
Love to you both Jayne xox
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Lonnie
Sat, 2015-06-13 16:08
Thank you Jayne
It is good to see you around again, and I sincerely hope you are feeling at least a bit better so that you may continue to pleasure us with your work and your friendship!
author commentraj
Mon, 2015-06-15 12:28
Hi Lonnie
A remarkable fluidity in these verses make them flow with a melodic tone...remarkable too is the rhyme sequence which i found unique...especially the end words of S! & S2, S3 & S4 and S5 & S6...
with lots of meaningful thoughts woven skillfully within ..
A pleasure read as often is the case with your poetry..
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Lonnie
Mon, 2015-06-15 12:31
Thank you raj,
Your eloquent review and kind words mean a great deal to me!
author commentChina Blue
Wed, 2015-06-17 09:04
Lon
one word
Bravo
this goes on my list with my favorites
Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)
Lonnie
Wed, 2015-06-17 11:56
Thank you M'dear,
That is a most wonderful compliment, and thoroughly brightens my day!
author commentscribbler
Wed, 2015-06-17 13:23
Hey Lonnie
I read this as a stab at ISIS and other such intolerant religious fanatics. As to the poem's structure and such, by now you know I hold you in high esteem so no need go over that again lol. BTW, how do you like this "mild" weather we've been having? When it's too hot to fish It's TOO hot lol........stan
Lonnie
Wed, 2015-06-17 14:42
Thanks Stan
Yeah, you got that right, if its too hot to fish, its too damned hot period! I'm a Spring and Fall person myself, never cared much for Winter, and only a little for Summer! Thanks for stopping by!
author comment