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Breaking Up With Philomena

The phone rings late in the afternoon
She says she wants to see me tonight
I take another drink and contemplate the dance

Later, the cats look at us disapprovingly
I let them out to search for better company in the alley
“Leave the bastards and come back to bed.”, her complaint

I can’t take my mind off them,
seeking what they may in their wanderings
Prowling carelessly about in the dark
in the freedom of the blithe shadows

Pulling at me from under the covers with impatience
she says, “Are you going to stay here with me,
or do you want to join them?”
Scratching the day’s stubble on my face,
I weigh the merits of her query.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Trying to capture the moment I knew it wasn't working.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Hello, Michael,
Bye-bye, Philomena! So...I could tell that it was not working by the end of your third line. The cats just confirmed it. Perfect final line, too. Very witty!
L

Thanks L! Yeah, I guess it was pretty obvious - LOL! Always appreciate you stopping by.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

I kind of figured that it was over by the third line. Your slow response and the scratching of your day-old stubble confirmed what the cats thought of the liaison; [secret, unfaithful relationship to a partner], ie the cats. Great sense of dark humor here.
~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

Thanks Geez. Only funny in retrospect, to be sure - LOL!

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment

I say, yeah, go with the cats...

Indeed! Thanks Alan.

Best

Michael Anthony

author comment
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