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Moon Beams
The full moon glows in the night
between dark trees glimmering bright
blankets of snowy clouds caught my sight
A rainbow circles the moon light
a star to the right of the lunar thus shines
among pillows of cottony clouds so white
Silence is broken....
Acorns falls between dying branches
disturbing presence peaceful quietness
In darkness blissful shininess
Frogs singing lullabies
melodies tunes under white skies
I hear the creatures joyous cries
Fear grasped my soul....
It's time to finalize this poem
and go on in from off these steps so cold
it's scary out here right now
Noise from who knows what
unknown things roaming about
is making me nervous
Near my end.....
The cool air is lowering my body temperature
making me shiver
listening to tree limbs break
Imagining what creature watches to devour me
before the full moon rises
in the east ever large, hanging low, yet high
Another lunar year will pass
the clocks are turned back one hour, and
Its a cold wintry night in South Carolina
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
I changed the title to moon beams because after feeling crazy and going outside for some fresh night air. It was the brightness of the moon through leaves of an oak tree in my back yard that inspired me to write.
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
United States
Favorite Poets
Billy Collins, Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson, Whitman, Jess Tapper
Comments
Candlewitch
Tue, 2011-11-15 11:32
Dear Barbara,
I like the contrast between the peace you started out with and the fear you ended up with. It is a well built poem. I also like the way it is personalized!
Another lunar year will pass
the clocks are turned back one hour, and
Its a cold wintry day in South Carolina
Nice ending lines!
but I suggest you say it is a night instead of day for continuity. Good work!
always, Cat
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Barbara Writes
Tue, 2011-11-15 14:44
Hey Cat
thanks for reading and commenting. i agree with the suggestion and will make the change
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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