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GOOD FRIDAY 2011

Submitted by arshiyafairy on Wed, 2011-04-20 08:14

Symbolizing the sacrifice of lord himself,
this day makes us feel the power of humanity.
but do we still feel this eternal love?
do we have peaceful minds without fake vanity?

Lord jesus must be wondering at his wonder,
the world,the people,who cannot hear,
the crescendo in their own souls,a wonder...
Evil spirits are ruling this livelihood,
making the mighty's creatures looking unearthly...
So much greed,anger,war,devil's destruction,
low cost of life,high cost of death.

May the world today,Good friday 2011,
realize the means of this day,
may they realize the sacrifice,
the still living earth,
may they feel the zest to live...

Heavens return,dandelions grow,
divinity break the uncanny silence,
Elixir,the life reassures peace...

Hope for heavens heave...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I'm trying to write.I'll be very thankful to you for your suggestions and corrections.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

mand

Wed, 2011-04-20 10:52

mand's picture
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Jesus showed the power of humanity. Love that line

But do we feel the love he showed? It takes knowledge and understanding.

Evil spirits are ruling this livelihood,
making the mighty's creatures looking unearthly... ( Maybe look unearthly )
So much greed,anger,war,devil's destruction,
low cost of life,high cost of death. Love this stanza - gets to the heart of mankinds problems.

Lord jesus must be wondering at his wonder,
the world,the people,who cannot hear, ( I wondered if it would be better to put "who will not hear")
up to you though.

I liked the positive end.

I enjoyed this thought provoking piece.

Thanks for sharing

Love Mand xxxxxxx

arshiyafairy

Sat, 2011-04-23 12:24

Thanx 4 ur suggestion,i'll see 2 it.

author comment

magics02

Sat, 2011-04-23 13:11

That is all I would like to say on this write. Thank you for writing it

Blessings
Mona

arshiyafairy

Wed, 2011-05-04 05:21

Thanx 2 lemme know mah mistakes... :)

author comment
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