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Echoes
Brutally mellifluous words
barged inward.
Pulsating eruptions
terrorized my last standing wall
which i allowed to deteriorate.
A cavity was created,
littered with debris.
I did not stand a chance
against the euphonious tune.
That charming voice
became just an echo
between my ears.
The amorous flutters
becoming nothing more
than nagging birds in my stomach
Singing songs
up through my throat
of what could have been.
...
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Mon, 2011-07-18 11:50
Dear violet,
Nice to meet you. Welcome to neopoet. I find these lines to stand out:
The amorous flutters
becoming nothing more
than nagging birds in my stomach
I like this imagery.
p.s.
Just a suggestion: It is recommended that you post only one poem per day. That way you will give people more time to respond to your individual poems. Another way in which to let people know you are here is to read and respond to others works.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
violet
Mon, 2011-07-18 14:02
:)
Thank you kindly for your comment.
I was a member before and can't remember which works i had posted before, so i thought i'd just post a few all at once, I do apologize if i wasn't supposed to :) I Didn't receive any warnings so assumed it was ok! silly me ;)
I will be spending more time this evening reading more work from others, i take my time but promise to involve myself ;) (uh-oh, poor you guys! hehe)
Thanks again for your words the lovely welcome! :)
author commentmagics02
Mon, 2011-07-18 12:11
Violet
Interesting write and yes I see also how were you able to post so many poems in one day? When I tried by accident to post another poem just the other day it gave me a red flag where I could not do it and I have seen you have did several in one day. Curious that is all I am
I like your profile picture as well and welcome here. I like this image also as Cat said
The amorous flutters
becoming nothing more
than nagging birds in my stomach
I have had that feeling of flutters way too many times. I was attracted to this poem and your name for that is my Aunts name as well. Fitting name for a violet of an Aunt.
Blessings
violet
Mon, 2011-07-18 14:06
...
Thank you Kindly Ma'am
Your comment is appreciated :)
This piece is dedicated to a love that i lost a while ago when i was still raw from it.. i am honored you got something from it.
Pleasure to meet you both and thank you for the welcome ;)
author commentCandlewitch
Fri, 2011-08-05 10:57
Dear Violet,
I'm just checking back with you to see how you are getting on. I hope that all is well with you and you are able to navigate the site with ease.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
big-Alzer
Tue, 2011-08-16 19:55
Hi Violet
Hi Violet
what a lovely piece speaks of heart issues, and lost loves of what might of been.
Its always brave to share things of the heart, as sometimes there is a cost involved.
I love the hidden deepness of it. Well done.
loved
Fri, 2013-11-08 15:55
I thought poor of dupey.... like pee
I thought poor of dup… like pee
till I met and read ye
you held my hand…. many try to kill… and upon others soil till …that is the way with this wicked world… we all know… how the real ones perish… whilst others glow… and so it's time to surface here ..and form a tracer… like a bullet...and so may it be the violet...I held to my feet dug deep as I learnt then when we did meet
loved