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Forgiving Eve
I was told
She ballsed it up
for the rest of us,
led Adam astray,
messed up
God's glorious
Creation.
Can you hear God,
chuckling?
He loves her
best of all
for making
the first Choice,
for birthing
'The Fall'
Exercising
her free will,
paving the way
for us all to
Create
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
2nd edit, after scribbler's suggestion thank you :)
Editing stage:
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Comments
raj
Sun, 2011-02-27 12:29
Dear Beki
it shows how compaasionate you are ...
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
faerybeki
Sun, 2011-02-27 15:44
Thank You raj :) much love,
Or how compassionate god is? Thank You raj :) much love, Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
author commentPsyve
Sun, 2011-02-27 14:18
In a slight twist to an old
In a slight twist to an old one, then...
In the Garden of Eden lay Adam
Complacently stroking his Madam
Great was her mirth
When she learned on Earth
There were only two balls
And SHE had em.
faerybeki
Sun, 2011-02-27 15:32
:) he he Xena I love how a
:) he he Xena I love how a poem can be read so differently by different people, I'm not sure I was trying to convey the feminist thing, I certainly wasn't thinking of it when I wrote this poem, it wasn't so much about Eve being misunderstood as God :) but hey, I love that you read what you did here, thank You, much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
author commentfaerybeki
Tue, 2011-03-01 17:55
:) there is no wrong. I aught
:) there is no wrong. I aught to have expected a feminist sort of reading, tis Eve after all :) much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
author commentPsyve
Sun, 2011-02-27 14:27
FB
An interesting thought... not the first sin but the first FREE CHOICE.
(A minor nit: I'm not sure I understood the intent of the line "Can you remember?" in V 2. It sort of tripped me up.)
Psyve
faerybeki
Sun, 2011-02-27 15:44
Hey Psyve :) yeah interesting
Hey Psyve :) yeah interesting thought, not mine (exactly) this a sort of a response/mulling over of a book I'm reading (Conversations with God) but wow it has really got me thinking, I was raised a christian but am considered as a new age hippy by my parents ;(more multicoloured, than black sheep of the family I guess) I see now I never really understood why God would give us free will and then threaten us with damnation if we didn't obey him, I don't think he did :) he wanted us to choose :)
I'm grateful for your minor nit :) I can see how, although it make sense to me (the idea being we are not learning in life as much as remembering that which we have always known but chosen to forget in order to have this experience) it might trip up the reader, and although it is part of what I'm grappling with here it might not belong in this poem :)
Thank you Psyve, much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
author commentfaerybeki
Sun, 2011-02-27 15:47
Exactly Shirl :) choice, just
Exactly Shirl :) choice, just as there is today. I'm glad you enjoyed the subject in this one :) much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
author commentKailashana2
Sun, 2011-02-27 15:49
What good is Eden if you don
What good is Eden if you don't know you're living in its magnificence?
Free will yet, isn't God in the *details*? ;-) Ha. Thank God for Eve.
~A
faerybeki
Sun, 2011-02-27 15:59
:)) 'What good is Eden if you
:)) 'What good is Eden if you don't know you're living in its magnificence?' :)) got to have the is-not to appreciate the is ;) it's all relative :) love to you A xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
author commentRace_9togo
Sun, 2011-02-27 16:24
Hi Beki,
I love your poem, a very nice take on how God feels about Eve, and probably more truth to it than the usual interpretation!
Nothing to critique, it looks like others did it well.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
faerybeki
Tue, 2011-03-01 17:58
Hi JIm, always pleased if you
Hi JIm, always pleased if you enjoy one of mine :) I couldn't comment on the last I read from you, it saddened me so, but I can send a BIG hug (((Jim)))) and I'll try and revisit it :) much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
author commentscribbler
Sun, 2011-02-27 16:44
hi
Best I remember Eve didn't Force Adam to eat lol. I think if you decide to leave a space before last line, you should move "to" to the end of previous line and let create stand alone................scribbler
faerybeki
Tue, 2011-03-01 17:59
Hi scribbler and lol :)
Hi scribbler and lol :) perfect idea to let create stand alone without the to, I'm going to do it :) thank you, much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
author commentDalton
Sun, 2011-02-27 17:27
Forgiving Eve
A nice fairly unemmotional write, I hope you don't mind me saying that, its something I find hard to do with this subject. I think you were a little bit tongue in cheek here. An enjoyable read and it caught my eye immediately when flicking through the stream. The title was clever too I think.
John
faerybeki
Tue, 2011-03-01 18:03
Hello John, I don't mind at
Hello John, I don't mind at all what you said, you're quite right emotional impact wasn't what I was going for here :) and I guess it is a little tongue in cheek, yes, although not entirely intentional, perhaps due to the colloquial language? really pleased you enjoyed it, much love Beki xxx
'God turns you from one feeling to another
and teaches by means of opposites,
so that you will have two wings to fly,
not one.' (...Rumi)
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