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We must keep on trying
confront your image
don't hide behind a mirror
in fool's paradise
when we close our eyes
we may be blind to the world
not our conscience
spare for your own sake
a moment in solitude
for self appraisal
may good deeds prevail
over evils of the bygone
at each dawning day
smile at your image
feel good to be alive
which is a blessing
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Wed, 2011-02-23 22:03
Dearest Shirl
thank you for your comment..i am no philosopher or guide...i just pieced together some guiding principles in life for good living...
much love..
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentloved
Wed, 2011-02-23 19:44
Beautiful Smile yours
smile at your image
feel good to be alive
which is a blessing
loved
raj
Wed, 2011-02-23 22:04
Dear Loved
thank you for the read...i am glad you liked it..
much love...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentweirdelf
Thu, 2011-02-24 02:53
Poetry that gives advice sucks.
especially as there is nothing original in this.
The structure of 5 stanzas works well, if the content wasn't so trite.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
raj
Thu, 2011-02-24 13:33
Jess
i never meant to give any advice...just put a few thoughts together as i have amply clarified...thanks for commenting though...i thrive on the most critical ones...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentCandlewitch
Thu, 2011-02-24 10:39
Dear raj,
spare for your own sake
a moment in solitude
for self apprisal
( appraisal)
Your poem holds much good advise. I like the way you have ended this piece.
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
raj
Thu, 2011-02-24 13:39
Dear Cat
thank you for pointing out the spelling error...you are right..because apprisal doent mean what i meant...i will get that corrected right away...
as i have responded to Shirl's and Jess' comment...there is no intention here to give advice...i am not a perfect person myself ..i just pieced together a few thoughts...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentraj
Sun, 2011-02-27 12:26
Dearest Xena...
thats why i said it is important for all of us to do a self appriasal from time to time...glad to know you liked it...
much love..
P.S.: good to see you in your warrior attire...you seem to be in a fighting mood he he...
raj (sublime_ocean)
author commentAyaz Warith
Sun, 2011-03-06 02:22
Dear Raj, lovely, succinct
Dear Raj, lovely, succinct and laconic piece!
Regards
Ayaz