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Yes,I Shall Wait
Oh my beloved,
As you go off to war,
I shall wait your return
In one piece
I shall be a single teen aged mother
Till your return.
Hopefully, your return
Is not with mournful trumpet call
Or Colours dipped on cobbles bare
As normally many do
Till then I shall await my Love,
For you,
As a widow
At this young age
It wouldn't do
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Candlewitch
Thu, 2011-09-01 12:08
Hi Loved,
Nice work! But consider this:
Instead of:
Till you return,
Hopefully, your return
Till your arrival,
Hopefully, your homecomming
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
loved
Thu, 2011-09-01 16:21
Yenti AND Cat
hope this piece
can also now
be to rest
Amen
loved
Race_9togo
Thu, 2011-09-01 18:32
Loved
This is good, but I don't understand the last two lines.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
loved
Thu, 2011-09-01 21:50
thanks a great deal
in the repeated edits
the typo over came me
.Thanks for the cute observation
grateful
loved
scribbler
Thu, 2011-09-01 20:12
hi loved
A good tale of what many young wives are going through. I agree with Jim about the last 2 lines though..........stan
loved
Thu, 2011-09-01 21:52
Thanks Stan
the typo has been blasted
sorry....
my above remarks do accept
thanks
loved
loved
Fri, 2011-11-04 12:45
Where ru my friend
Stan ....
Lost in the wilderness of time
you can't be o man
you are the Stan
who always did stand
loved
loved
Sat, 2011-11-05 10:11
relieved
thanks Rosy
have a great day
and also to stan convey
loved
Race_9togo
Thu, 2011-11-10 01:11
wondered
where Stan had gotten to. Good to hear he's OK.
Respectfully, Race
"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo
http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo
loved
Thu, 2011-11-10 11:10
Thanks
I am grateful
loved