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Smiles
Smiles
She looks at me from a distance
Gives searching glances
As she blushes she smiles
I smile too,
No, not at her
But within
Is her smile really for me?
I await a moment
To feel the vibration
Of the nerves
All over my surface
Each like a real erection
I feel the twitch,
I assure myself to smile
As the power I pitch
Whenever next
She peeks.
Oh! I wonder whether she’ll smile
As she once did.
Look at my track
I gape at her with open eyes,
Oh smile, a while
I shall too, with you,
Till we die
Ah! For the moment
Do not feel shy
Give me that blush
All for my while
Smile my love
The flower opens,
Like a lotus,
As we share the glory
The glare
As you within my eyes
And
I in yours finally stare.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
loved
Mon, 2011-08-29 19:55
THANKS U SAY HOT SO IT must be
i wrote it
when the cold breeze
was fanning me.
so thanks to thee...
loved
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-08-30 07:19
What are you doing?
Your poetry has improved so much lately. I applaude you.
My only crit
I in yours finally do stare.
[I in yours finally stare.]
your poetry in the past was trite re-integration of simplistic themes.
Now it is deeply beautiful.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Tue, 2011-08-30 08:37
Thanks a great deal
the... do... was an after thought
glad u also think its out of context
so I've removed it
All your blessings sir.
Thanks take care
loved