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Savour my Success

Nothing Succeeds Like Success

Success is just a relative term
in modern times
it's all about how much you earn
and
having earned enough
you want to be known
all around the world
who are you so beautiful
wonderful and successful

How is it the world now displays
only your winning ways
can we all be successful that way
heaven knows you also perhaps may

I am now a lame duck
paddling in the pond
I will go away now
but when
any day
if not today

I am on the lightening pathway
it will shine
only when I become a part
of a next generation gold mine

till then drink with me a glass of red wine
give me some happy company this time

success upon my lovely face let it shine
ere with the distant heavens
I entwine

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like this piece, one thing it needs to be more balanced.
That is line lengths and maybe syllable counts will do as used in some poetry.
Take care I am short of time this evening, so I shall talk later,
Yours Ian

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

Ians

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