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Mannequin Man

Submitted by Clentin on Thu, 2022-12-29 12:05

Is that me behind those plastic eyes
peering out over chrome and glass?

Are those my limbs that are
clinked together in such
permanent positions waiting
for someone to tap that hollow
leg or adjust that aching arm?

Is that me who has no mind to think
no voice to speak, no heart to feel?

Are those parts ready to be
dismantled by rough uncaring hands
hired to do a daily task?

Is that me who is becoming nothing
but neatly tagged pieces of what was
and what might be ?

Is that me Mannequin Man?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

RoseBlack

Thu, 2022-12-29 23:39

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Stood out to me. I often say that I feel like a machine..not a human and your poem echoed those emotions perfectly. Your use of descriptive language allows the reader to see the comparison between the mannequin and yourself. Well done.

~RoseBlack~

Rosewood Apothecary

Fri, 2022-12-30 05:52

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Welcome to neopoet. This is haunting and relatable. I’m not sure if I ever feel inhuman but I do go through the daily motions with the hope that I’ll be able to swim back to myself through all the undertow at the end of each day. Writing and reading ate grounding for me.

Welcome to the site,
Tim

Lavender

Fri, 2022-12-30 12:48

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Greetings, Clentin,
I enjoyed this thought-provoking poem. We all are prone to just "being" instead of being truly alive. I was especially drawn to mentioning the mind to think, voice to speak, heart to feel - our truest selves.
Welcome to Neopoet!
Lavender

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