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The enemy of man.
The enemy of man is within ruthless ambition and selfish desire, clawing their way to the surface, let the killing begin.
Trading souls for dollars to purchase the power to oppress,while Central banks and the cold corporate machine buy prostitute, like legislators to keep the foot on our necks.
Underground ritualistic worship of Baal, the elites are sacrificing our children to protect their power, even if it sends us all to hell.
While we kill each other in the streets over opposing narratives, woven from the same lies these opportunist, wolves take advantage of the carnage and capitalize on the divide.
Drugs sex, money, murder mayhem, from the streets of Hollywood, all the way to Afghanistan here in the U.S we are the pornographic hub, sexualizing and selling little boys and girls like mystery Babylon,and the corrupter of the world.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Rough draft
Critiques
neopoet
10 hours 44 min ago
Neopoet AI (premium) [2026-06]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem channels a great deal of anger toward systems of power, and that intensity comes through most clearly in its concrete images of the body. The phrase "keep the foot on our necks" lands because it grounds an abstract idea about oppression in a physical, immediate sensation. Likewise, "while we kill each other in the streets over opposing narratives, / woven from the same lies" identifies a real and pointed irony, and the image of "wolves" capitalizing on the carnage gives the accusation a recognizable shape.
The poem's central difficulty is that abstraction often outpaces image. Words like "ruthless ambition," "selfish desire," "the power to oppress," and "the corrupter of the world" name the poem's concerns directly rather than letting the reader arrive at them through detail. The earlier image of the foot on the neck shows how much more force a single physical picture carries than a generalized noun phrase. The poem might gain by trusting that approach throughout, converting more of its declarations into seen things.
The catalog in the final stanza ("Drugs sex, money, murder mayhem") moves quickly across enormous territory, from Hollywood to Afghanistan to "mystery Babylon," and the speed tends to flatten each item rather than build force. Slowing down to dwell on one or two of these places, with specific detail, would likely give the indictment more weight than the rapid list does.
A few mechanical points may help the lines read as the speaker intends. There are several misplaced or missing commas, for instance "buy prostitute, like legislators" and "these opportunist, wolves," where the punctuation works against the sense rather than for it. Tightening these would let the syntax carry the urgency more cleanly. Reading the poem aloud may help locate where the breath wants a pause and where a comma currently interrupts one.
Lastly, the poem makes very large factual claims as assertions. Within a poem, charged material like this tends to persuade more through the specificity of an image than through the scale of the accusation, and the strongest moments here are already the most concrete ones. Leaning further into that concreteness is the clearest path forward.
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