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The Journey Unknown

Submitted by Kristen H. on Sat, 2024-05-11 22:22

I stand with the woodland in front of me

There are paths to my left and right
Both with known destinations...
"A fork in the road" if you will.

Pondering my options
Deciding my fate
Knowing that neither path leads to where I want to be.
I have a choice to make.
I can't stand here forever.

I decide to go forward
Through the trees

A path that has yet to be traveled by others
A trail unformed

The trees whisper in the wind
I nearly stumble on their roots

Slowly I press on
Admiring the native wildflowers
Winding through
Careful not to trample them

While the path is not certain,
The journey is beautiful

Nature in its purity
Untouched by humanity

I wonder, for a moment,
Where I would be
Had I taken the paved path to my left
Or the worn trail to my right...

Would they have been just as beautiful?

I ground myself from my thoughts
And press on.

I travel for what feels like years
Through the uncharted land

---

At last
I can see an opening

I run
Desperately wanting to know what I'll find

I slow as I reach the opening

Still, I stand.
Curious

A door appears in front of me.
It towered over me.

Many moments pass as I admire it's burgundy oak color
Draped with vines
The worn ivory trim
Rusted hinges
An engraved key hole with words I can't quite make out...

Oh the years she must've seen

And as if by magic,
A chain appears around my neck
With a skeleton key as it's charm.

As rusted as the hinges,
Generations old...

---

So here I am,
Standing in front of a door that's never been opened...
With its key in my hand
Wondering what could possibly be on the other side.

The key is a perfect fit
And in this moment, I just know
This path was always meant for me
This was always my journey to take
This was always my door to open

Gently
I turn the key

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
I'm not sure about the title yet... ideas and suggestions are appreciated!
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2024-05-12 04:22

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "The Journey Unknown" effectively captures the sense of embarking on a new and uncharted path, symbolized by the speaker's decision to take the less-traveled route through the woodland. The imagery of nature's beauty and the speaker's contemplation of the different paths they could have taken add depth to the exploration of choice and destiny. The gradual progression through the untamed land conveys a sense of discovery and wonder.

One suggestion for improvement would be to further develop the emotional journey of the speaker. While the physical journey is vividly described, delving deeper into the speaker's internal conflicts, doubts, or moments of epiphany could enhance the reader's connection to the poem. Additionally, considering varying the pacing or structure of the poem to reflect the twists and turns of the journey could add dynamism to the narrative.

Overall, "The Journey Unknown" effectively conveys the theme of embracing the unknown and following one's unique path. Strengthening the emotional depth and experimenting with

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Rula

Sun, 2024-05-12 06:34

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beautiful!
Great take of how we go for our decisions and how should we accept whatever we had to choose
V. much enjoyed the read
Thank you for sharing such an amazing piece Kristen

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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Kristen H.

Sun, 2024-05-19 07:27

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very much, Rula! I appreciate the positive feedback! <3

author comment

Geezer

Sun, 2024-05-12 09:46

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that you have titled this correctly and don't need another title. I am put in mind of the "Alice in Wonderland story and wonder if
you have had a dream that you have written about? ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Kristen H.

Sun, 2024-05-19 07:29

Kristen H.'s picture

for your feedback, Geezer. This was not a dream per say... more like a daydream that I had. I have written a few poems based on daydreams, and this happens to be one of them. I love your Alice in Wonderland interpretation of it. Thanks for commenting!

author comment

tyro

Sun, 2024-05-12 16:03

the beginning reminds me so much of the poem by Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken.
In the end you forund what was always yours to find. But it was not clear to me if it was luck, instinct, distiny, or some strong inner drive (consciously of unconsciously) that lead you there

Tyro

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

Kristen H.

Sun, 2024-05-19 07:31

Kristen H.'s picture

how it would remind you of "The Road Not Taken". While that is a poem that I hold near and dear to my heart, I was not thinking of it as I wrote this piece. I believe I will allow the reader to interpret that part as they see fit. Whether luck, instinct, destiny, etc...

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Leslie

Mon, 2024-05-13 19:44

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WHAT A BRAVE WRITING. I UNDERSTAND DECISIONS ARE HARD TO MAKE, ESPECIALLY FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH THEM ONCE MADE.

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

Kristen H.

Sun, 2024-05-19 07:33

Kristen H.'s picture

very much, Leslie. I truly appreciate your feedback. Indeed, following through with decision can be a challenge, especially when you can't see the horizon. It's important to stop and smell the roses and appreciate the journey. <3

author comment

Leslie

Mon, 2024-05-20 06:09

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Yes, I very much agree!!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

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