Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

It's May

It's May

Marigolds pop up
to swing and sway and
hopefully
stay.

Then,
they may,
oh how I wish,
that they'd pop up
again,

Mayhap
next May?

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem demonstrates a clear understanding of rhythm and repetition. The repetition of "May" and "may" creates a pleasing echo effect that ties the poem together. However, the use of "Mayhap" seems to disrupt the rhythm and might be replaced with a more fitting word or phrase.

The poem could benefit from more vivid imagery. While "Marigolds pop up" gives a basic image, the poem could delve deeper into the sensory experience of May and marigolds. For example, describing the color, scent, or texture of the marigolds could enhance the reader's experience.

The line "hopefully / stay" is a bit ambiguous. If the intention is to express a wish for the marigolds to remain in bloom, this could be made clearer.

The phrase "oh how I wish" seems to introduce a new tone into the poem. If this is intentional, it could be developed further to create a stronger emotional impact. If not, consider revising this line to maintain the poem's consistent tone.

Finally, the poem could benefit from a stronger conclusion. The question "next May?" leaves the reader hanging. A more definitive ending could provide a satisfying resolution.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I'm thinking that you could do without the "until fall".
I follow the rest of the thoughts about may, mayhap and May; a clever wordplay on the word may. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

for reading and the suggestion.
I found it quite reasonable and hence implemented as suggested.
Much appreciated.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

A light spring poem. I do love those marigolds. Hope all is well with you, dear friend.

Tyro

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

Thank you for reading and wishes.
All is well. Thank you as always for your kindness.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment

Hello, Rula!
What a fun, cheery poem! It makes me smile!
I especially love the way the word "mayhap" blends itself into the poem. Very clever! (May is my favorite month - I'm sad to see it go...)
Thank you!
Lx

Me too. I'm not a big fan of summer as it comes in package with mosquito bites and all.
Thank you so much for your kind visit.
Really appreciate it and hope you're doing well.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.