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Colors
Blue sky’s, Green trees, all this beauty brings me to my knees.
White moon, Yellow sun, playing all day just for fun.
Red roses, Pink flowers, thinking about her for more then an hour.
All these colors mean so much, but all these colors I can not touch.
A life with no colors is like a life with no brain, the less colors I see the more I go insane.
Grey rain, Brown mud, many of lifes ended with a loud thud.
Black writing as i scribble and scratch on my paper.
I wish it was over, I wish it was later.
All these colors mean so much, but all these colors i can not touch.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
This was on the site back in 08 before it crashed.
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Wed, 2012-09-05 12:07
I can't comment on this
unless you change the status from "not actively editing".
I think it has potential but needs work.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Candlewitch
Mon, 2012-09-10 10:43
Hello,
The one suggestion I would make, is: Go to single spaceing of the lines to crisp it up a bit. This poem has an interesting premise. I like the theme.
always, Cat
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