Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
I Walk This World
I walk this world both night and day
Wanting to know what gives my stay.
Why can't my soul find the true rest
Unless by your hand she is blessed.
I look as my world cry in pain
And wonder what in life we gain.
Why do we do our brother wrong
Happily singing our own song.
I cannot rest my searching heart
Till I know what’s the major part,
Till I know that calmness within
Saying that I have denounced sin.
Long do I suffer, long I roam
Searching for my sweet sweet home;
Would ply matter of heavy space
And all sweetness in one hand lace.
I have searched for that mighty key
That would let my heart and soul free.
Shift the power to my weak hand
See my life in another land.
Grey sky, grey earth, enough of you
Take my heart to a higher blue
Let my life be not just seed
But give me life of higher need
Comments
neopoet
Sun, 2024-04-28 13:10
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Rula
Sun, 2024-04-28 11:34
Hello friend
A tender well expressed longing and yearning to find the inner peace in a mortal world.
I only have one suggestion for a smoother read in stanza 1 line 3
Why my soul can find no true rest
Why can't my soul find the true rest
This I hope keeps both the syllable's no. and the meaning
Thank you for sharing.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
tyro
Mon, 2024-04-29 07:50
Hello dear Rula,
Hello dear Rula,
Always a pleasure to have you visit. thanks for your suggestion. I've changed that line a few times and did not get it right.
Thanks agin, I have now edited it.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight
Leslie
Sun, 2024-04-28 17:45
tyro
I WOULD ADD SILLY TO SONG. I APPRECIATED THE MESSAGE AND THE WRITING. IN HELPING TO REDUCE THE
SUFFERING OF ALL WHOM WE ARE ABLE. WE WILL FIND OUR TRUE MEANINING! GREAT WRITING.
The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!
tyro
Mon, 2024-04-29 07:53
Hi Leslie
thanks for your insightfull comment.
T
The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight