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In Cahoots
Their bikes stormed past
the church lane, down
to the end of the road
where the gravel thins off
into nothingness
but dandelions, clover,
and Queen Anne's Lace.
The five boys wrestled their bikes
into a tight huddle, faces flushed from
riding so darn fast, and so darn hard,
hearts pounding inside their youthful chests -
still innocent,
still fragile.
One of them pulled out an adult magazine
from the underside of his jacket,
opened it up all the way, and then rotated it,
just...so,
as ten curious eyes widened and five mouths dropped.
A little innocence was left behind that day,
covered in dust from the flying gravel,
forever lost beyond the clover
and Queen Anne's Lace.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Michael Anthony
Mon, 2024-03-25 23:55
Outstanding write L! Really
Outstanding write L! Really like the capture of adolescents on the verge of having an interest and curiosity about the opposite sex. Your last stanza was sublime - wonderful!
Best
Michael Anthony
Lavender
Tue, 2024-03-26 15:14
Hello, Michael,
This was a bit of fun to write. I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you!
L
Candlewitch
Tue, 2024-03-26 05:44
Dear Lavender,
... and another one bites the dust! This poem flows so well from line to line and verse to verse. You made the scene all come together...I love the Queen Anne's Lace very nice touch!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Lavender
Tue, 2024-03-26 15:18
Hello, Cat,
So glad you enjoyed this! I always associate Queen Anne's Lace with riding since it was so prevalent on the bike rides of my youth. I appreciate you reading and commenting!
Lx
Geezer
Tue, 2024-03-26 14:09
There must...
have been an older boy, [the one with the magazine]. He was the one in my story. An awesome write, I'm wondering how you managed to get inside their scenario, and their heads. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Tue, 2024-03-26 15:25
Hello, Geezer,
I dug this up from a decades-old poetry journal. I had forgotten all about it and re-tweaked it a bit. Boys are boys are boys...
Thank you for reading!
L
RoseBlack
Thu, 2024-03-28 22:05
What a great write
It captures the childhood of many boys and the memory of having to sneak a look at their first dirty magazine. The title is perfect since they all had to plan where to meet to look at this magazine. Well done.
~RoseBlack~
Lavender
Mon, 2024-04-01 14:09
Hello, Carrie,
Hope you are well! Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Lx